I really would like to include pictures on my blog but I haven't the foggiest notion on how to do it!
That's my new challenge to be tackled as soon as possible!
On to the next order of business, diet. It's on... Yet again. I guess if at first you don't succeed try, try again.
I lost a bunch of weight from February 1st, 2010 till August of the same year and I was on cloud nine!!! "Elaine, you look so good!" "Elaine, have you lost weight?" I felt like I was unstoppable! But then I got back from Europe and things went downhill.
I stopped running (yes, I'd begun running), and I stopped attempting any kind of exercise activity! Mistake of enormous proportions-- ask my gut! Fail #1!
Fail #2 was when I stopped eating 6 meals a day, I stopped getting up early for breakfast, to prepare my lunch etc... I instead started eating fast food and pastelitos from when I sell them for my students!
However, all hope is not lost! A new plan has set in motion.
1) I plan to get back on track with my eating schedule starting November 15
2) I have a buddy who has told me she'll exercise with me at the crack of dawn! Which serves two purposes: I will be held accountable for my actions and secondly working out in the morning will serve to burn calories all day!!!
3) I printed on hot pink paper (hopefully the brightness of the paper will serve as a constant. Reminder) a schedule titled "From Couch to 5K" and I intend to follow it through.
How will I dodge the holidays??? I wonder too. But I am thinking this might help me sleep at night: unless my mother cooks something from a recipe book there isn't any holiday food I haven't ingested or don't know what it tastes like... Therefore, there's no reason to shovel cratefuls into my face during these times and I can still taste the holiday feasts and keep on the healthy side!
Good luck to me! Here I go AGAIN!!!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
So many things, so little time.
So it's not like I just figured this doozy of a statement right this second. I have known this for a very long time, however, it only grows more imminent as my life keeps passing by. I am settling into my life as I round the corner on almost thirty and I'm trying to focus on keeping it as jam packed with things for myself and to keep as little drama as possible. Keeping it balanced I like to think. Nonetheless, there are always barracades in the way and one can not help bumping into a little drama now and again.
Although, I know I owe the world (as if the world really reads this blog) a long overdue European blog, I am going to vent and see if through writing I can sort through this bump and move "smoovely" as some of my kids would say, on down the road of life.
Here goes, lately I am feeling a little overwhelmed at how underwhelming I feel life is being since I've gotten back from Europe. I know my biggest mistake is making comparisons between one and the other but I can not help it. When I write about Europe you'll see all I did was make comparisons about Europe to the US but only in the scenarios of weather or techonological influence.
I come back to the States and immediately jump right in to work. I only had 4 days to recuperate from my vacation and get myself back on Eastern Stardard time. The first couple days of work were a blur basically. I was there to organize my room and get things in order to start the new school year.
The new school year has begun, we are more than half of the way done with the 1st quarter. Time has been feeling like it's been dragging. In addition, I am the sponsor for the "Class of 2014" who are the Freshmen this year and the "Belly Dance Club" which who knows what that's going to be about. Meetings, meetings, and more meetings. Very time consuming. Time is beginning to pick up speed. I started out with a planning period at the end of the day but now I have a junior Enlish class (Time is severely picking up speed). On top of all this, my temporary teaching certification is up at the end of this school year so by June I need to get a move on a couple of things: I need to take the French K-12 exam (which I plan to take after winter break so I can study), I need to complete a teaching Portfolio (which I plan to do before winter break, so I am not stressing out about it while I'm trying to study for the exam!) and I need to complete a Reading Endorsement course that I am currently in on Tuesday nights from 5-9. Easy breezy, right? Now instead of feeling like the days are moving too slowly, the feeling is that they are over before I actually even got started! It's crazy.
Aside from all that, I am supremely proud to mention my baby brother is a United States citizen! From May of last year, to when I had come back in August he was completely through with the naturalization process, little after my return and shortly before his 24th birthday on September 11, he became one! I am exhilarated at the thought that one day he and I will travel overseas together! Really exciting, right? Now, the snafu, I have not taken him to get his passport yet. I keep forgetting to with all the other 4000 things running through my mind.
Then, on a more irrelevant note, the drama. Now it's not Emmy-award-winning, it's not even something to be nominated but it's there. My friends. I feel like since I've returned my fuse is short when it comes to some of the petty things that happen with them. It's crazy but I just don't care enough to please people as much anymore. If they make me unhappy, I'm just going to move on, it's not like I can not go through life without ever getting a little upset at them. So here it is. My two friends whose names I'll change for the sake of securing their identities and because heaven forbid one of them reads this and goes ape-poop. Alright, so Tiffany, she's a sweet, sweet person, but aggressive in the way that she does not even understand when it comes to going out. She seems like she's letting you make the decisions but in fact, she's slowly steering you in whatever direction she wants. Strike 1, Friday. I ask her what her plans are and she's doing a family thing, that's fine. I invite her out later because she says she's interested in going out when she's through. When I tell her where I'm going she tells me she's not in the mood to go there. No biggie. (Why does it upset me, because countless times I've gone places I don't want to for her- and I sometimes even enjoy it!) Saturday Stike 2. I invite her out again (because apparently I like to act like I am a lamb to the slaughter) she's up for it, she asks me to invite Karen. It's not that I don't like Karen (I actually just began talking to her again after she did a very mean thing to me like 3 years ago) but ask her yourself! You're the one that wants her to come so badly! Sheesh! Cut to later that evening, and we're having a great dinner except for the fact that there are some moronic kids who decided to dress up that day as zombies and I am freaking out because I am scared of them. I tell Tiffany not to draw any attention to us because I don't want them drawing their focus on us since I am the largest scaredy cat in the WORLD! (Self-proclaimed of course, I haven't won any awards for it yet) but I can see it in her eyes she's itching to tell one of them something, and of course the opportunity presents itself when one of those damn fools spits fake blood right next to me, and Tiffany explaims loudly how disgusting it is. So I walk ahead of her until I'm good and ready to confront her and I tell her I did not appreciate her not doing what I asked, and she said she was sorry she could not react the way I did to the situation. (Not an apology if you ask me) The rest of the evening went on without a hitch and it was amazing! Lastly, Strike 3 Domingo (Sunday)! I wake up super early and after having such a great night invite Tiffany to have breakfast with me. she does not mention she can't make it, even after I tell her that I am leaving in 10 minutes to her house (she's not my closest neighbor either- it's quite the haul) After I am on the road for like 15 minutes, she sends me a message that she is not going to be joining me for breakfast. WHAT?!?!?! What was I supposed to do? What does she think gas is free for me? Luckily my friend Sophia took me in for a couple minutes while I gathered my wits and then headed back home dejected. I apologized to Tiffany. I said, "I am sorry for having tried to be spontaneous, and I am sorry to have gotten upset at your rejection of it." Done and done.
The other one is Tessie, she has a new boyfriend who she surmises I "hate" and she claims no one has sold me down the river about this, and I told her, that I do not talk to anyone about him and much less about whether I like him or not. Geez- even writing it makes me want to puke with it's adolescent nature. But I know on occasion I have felt uncomfortable around him, but----
I decided not to continue with that insipid discussion with myself before I go insane and my brain cells die!
Anyway, as one can tell life is definitely happening and there's nothing to do to stop it...
On a sad note, I stopped my diet and have consequently ruined myself but there is hope around the bend, I'll keep you posted in case all can be saved! I am really excited about this new turn of events, more to come soon!!!
Although, I know I owe the world (as if the world really reads this blog) a long overdue European blog, I am going to vent and see if through writing I can sort through this bump and move "smoovely" as some of my kids would say, on down the road of life.
Here goes, lately I am feeling a little overwhelmed at how underwhelming I feel life is being since I've gotten back from Europe. I know my biggest mistake is making comparisons between one and the other but I can not help it. When I write about Europe you'll see all I did was make comparisons about Europe to the US but only in the scenarios of weather or techonological influence.
I come back to the States and immediately jump right in to work. I only had 4 days to recuperate from my vacation and get myself back on Eastern Stardard time. The first couple days of work were a blur basically. I was there to organize my room and get things in order to start the new school year.
The new school year has begun, we are more than half of the way done with the 1st quarter. Time has been feeling like it's been dragging. In addition, I am the sponsor for the "Class of 2014" who are the Freshmen this year and the "Belly Dance Club" which who knows what that's going to be about. Meetings, meetings, and more meetings. Very time consuming. Time is beginning to pick up speed. I started out with a planning period at the end of the day but now I have a junior Enlish class (Time is severely picking up speed). On top of all this, my temporary teaching certification is up at the end of this school year so by June I need to get a move on a couple of things: I need to take the French K-12 exam (which I plan to take after winter break so I can study), I need to complete a teaching Portfolio (which I plan to do before winter break, so I am not stressing out about it while I'm trying to study for the exam!) and I need to complete a Reading Endorsement course that I am currently in on Tuesday nights from 5-9. Easy breezy, right? Now instead of feeling like the days are moving too slowly, the feeling is that they are over before I actually even got started! It's crazy.
Aside from all that, I am supremely proud to mention my baby brother is a United States citizen! From May of last year, to when I had come back in August he was completely through with the naturalization process, little after my return and shortly before his 24th birthday on September 11, he became one! I am exhilarated at the thought that one day he and I will travel overseas together! Really exciting, right? Now, the snafu, I have not taken him to get his passport yet. I keep forgetting to with all the other 4000 things running through my mind.
Then, on a more irrelevant note, the drama. Now it's not Emmy-award-winning, it's not even something to be nominated but it's there. My friends. I feel like since I've returned my fuse is short when it comes to some of the petty things that happen with them. It's crazy but I just don't care enough to please people as much anymore. If they make me unhappy, I'm just going to move on, it's not like I can not go through life without ever getting a little upset at them. So here it is. My two friends whose names I'll change for the sake of securing their identities and because heaven forbid one of them reads this and goes ape-poop. Alright, so Tiffany, she's a sweet, sweet person, but aggressive in the way that she does not even understand when it comes to going out. She seems like she's letting you make the decisions but in fact, she's slowly steering you in whatever direction she wants. Strike 1, Friday. I ask her what her plans are and she's doing a family thing, that's fine. I invite her out later because she says she's interested in going out when she's through. When I tell her where I'm going she tells me she's not in the mood to go there. No biggie. (Why does it upset me, because countless times I've gone places I don't want to for her- and I sometimes even enjoy it!) Saturday Stike 2. I invite her out again (because apparently I like to act like I am a lamb to the slaughter) she's up for it, she asks me to invite Karen. It's not that I don't like Karen (I actually just began talking to her again after she did a very mean thing to me like 3 years ago) but ask her yourself! You're the one that wants her to come so badly! Sheesh! Cut to later that evening, and we're having a great dinner except for the fact that there are some moronic kids who decided to dress up that day as zombies and I am freaking out because I am scared of them. I tell Tiffany not to draw any attention to us because I don't want them drawing their focus on us since I am the largest scaredy cat in the WORLD! (Self-proclaimed of course, I haven't won any awards for it yet) but I can see it in her eyes she's itching to tell one of them something, and of course the opportunity presents itself when one of those damn fools spits fake blood right next to me, and Tiffany explaims loudly how disgusting it is. So I walk ahead of her until I'm good and ready to confront her and I tell her I did not appreciate her not doing what I asked, and she said she was sorry she could not react the way I did to the situation. (Not an apology if you ask me) The rest of the evening went on without a hitch and it was amazing! Lastly, Strike 3 Domingo (Sunday)! I wake up super early and after having such a great night invite Tiffany to have breakfast with me. she does not mention she can't make it, even after I tell her that I am leaving in 10 minutes to her house (she's not my closest neighbor either- it's quite the haul) After I am on the road for like 15 minutes, she sends me a message that she is not going to be joining me for breakfast. WHAT?!?!?! What was I supposed to do? What does she think gas is free for me? Luckily my friend Sophia took me in for a couple minutes while I gathered my wits and then headed back home dejected. I apologized to Tiffany. I said, "I am sorry for having tried to be spontaneous, and I am sorry to have gotten upset at your rejection of it." Done and done.
The other one is Tessie, she has a new boyfriend who she surmises I "hate" and she claims no one has sold me down the river about this, and I told her, that I do not talk to anyone about him and much less about whether I like him or not. Geez- even writing it makes me want to puke with it's adolescent nature. But I know on occasion I have felt uncomfortable around him, but----
I decided not to continue with that insipid discussion with myself before I go insane and my brain cells die!
Anyway, as one can tell life is definitely happening and there's nothing to do to stop it...
On a sad note, I stopped my diet and have consequently ruined myself but there is hope around the bend, I'll keep you posted in case all can be saved! I am really excited about this new turn of events, more to come soon!!!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
My Very Happy Birthday
Birthdays, depending on who you are, can be a cause for great celebration or a cause for great depression. I have through my years had many of both. I have to say the last three years have been pretty amazing, however, this birthday tops all others!
I was turning 27- not a "party-it-up" kind of year, but I thought, "let's make the most of this, Elaine; next thing you know you'll be wishing you celebrated 27 when you're turning 50!"
So I sent out Text inviations (free and showing my technological advancement) asking everyone to my "Blue Party!" Basically the thought process behind this is that people all the time have black and white parties and my favorite color is blue so I'll take the concept and have an entire party where everything is blue- not considering that people tend to use blue for boy baby-showers until I went to pick up my balloons.
People invited and myself were to be dressed in blue, my decorations were to be blue and even the cake was blue!
I was so happy I invited more people than my little apartment could hold and truth be told a majority of the people invited showed, which in itself was a great gift! I was ecstatic.
I have, for as long as I can remember, raved about my mother's lasagna. I love it, it's a fan favorite. We joke around that any day Bobby Flay will show up at our door for an Ultimate ThrowDown we like it so much.
Therefore including in the invitation that besides wearing blue, people should also bring their appetites. Success!
I had all sorts of friends there, college friends, friends I'd made after, Disney friends, some of my brother's friends, etc. It was truly a great evening.
Things that were fantastic:
The amount of laughter that was both contageous and free-flowing
The fact that though no-one was getting drunk and that no music played, people still had a great time!
The games!
But one thing that really blew me away was the two most honored attendants, my parents. Usually, and most commonly, when either my brother or I invite anyone over to the house they like to make themselves the MOST inconspicuous people alive! They may RARELY say a passing hello t osomeone before they bolt to their bedroom (which I no dubbed "the Cabin"- thanks to Elaine's husband Mike) and are never to be heard or seen from again until the last guest has gone. HOWEVER, I don't know if it was because of my birthday or because of my amazing friends not only did my mother linger around a little longer than usual but my father. So ellusive people sometimes wonder if he lives with us!
He found someone at my party who he thoroughly enjoyed and although he bogarted them the rest of the night, I was grateful he stayed out. I'm only certain he spoke of photography with my great photog friend, but he is awesome to speak to and I'm glad that they got to see a side of him only my mother, brother, and I are privileged to see day-to-day.
My mother. The mediator. Thanks to her some bumps in my party were smoothed out and thankfully I was none the wiser until later that night or the next day. Apparently, I invited some cliquey friends and they were leaving out one of my more bubbly friends and making her feel terrible. Thankfully my mom sat in the middle of it all and talked up a storm as she loves and got everyone to be one groups not lots of little groups.
Lastly, my brother. Although he has been to my last three birthdays I'm always amazed he makes it out. Granted, this is our home, so odds were good he'd be there, but I wanted to make sure he wouldn't have ulterior plans. He stayed the entire night. He joked, he played, he was awesome.
It was that night that I was super grateful to have them in my life and to be able to show them off. I mean that in the best of ways.
I am certain the evening was a success, although since then I've only heard negative, petty commentary from people who were rubbed the wrong way so to speak by events that allegedly transpired through the night, that were brought to my attention a day or two later.
Nonetheless, I will enjoy the memories I have of that night and savor them and ignore all the other stuff, because what mattered most to me was fulfilled.
GREATEST BIRTHDAY EVER! Thank you all!
I was turning 27- not a "party-it-up" kind of year, but I thought, "let's make the most of this, Elaine; next thing you know you'll be wishing you celebrated 27 when you're turning 50!"
So I sent out Text inviations (free and showing my technological advancement) asking everyone to my "Blue Party!" Basically the thought process behind this is that people all the time have black and white parties and my favorite color is blue so I'll take the concept and have an entire party where everything is blue- not considering that people tend to use blue for boy baby-showers until I went to pick up my balloons.
People invited and myself were to be dressed in blue, my decorations were to be blue and even the cake was blue!
I was so happy I invited more people than my little apartment could hold and truth be told a majority of the people invited showed, which in itself was a great gift! I was ecstatic.
I have, for as long as I can remember, raved about my mother's lasagna. I love it, it's a fan favorite. We joke around that any day Bobby Flay will show up at our door for an Ultimate ThrowDown we like it so much.
Therefore including in the invitation that besides wearing blue, people should also bring their appetites. Success!
I had all sorts of friends there, college friends, friends I'd made after, Disney friends, some of my brother's friends, etc. It was truly a great evening.
Things that were fantastic:
The amount of laughter that was both contageous and free-flowing
The fact that though no-one was getting drunk and that no music played, people still had a great time!
The games!
But one thing that really blew me away was the two most honored attendants, my parents. Usually, and most commonly, when either my brother or I invite anyone over to the house they like to make themselves the MOST inconspicuous people alive! They may RARELY say a passing hello t osomeone before they bolt to their bedroom (which I no dubbed "the Cabin"- thanks to Elaine's husband Mike) and are never to be heard or seen from again until the last guest has gone. HOWEVER, I don't know if it was because of my birthday or because of my amazing friends not only did my mother linger around a little longer than usual but my father. So ellusive people sometimes wonder if he lives with us!
He found someone at my party who he thoroughly enjoyed and although he bogarted them the rest of the night, I was grateful he stayed out. I'm only certain he spoke of photography with my great photog friend, but he is awesome to speak to and I'm glad that they got to see a side of him only my mother, brother, and I are privileged to see day-to-day.
My mother. The mediator. Thanks to her some bumps in my party were smoothed out and thankfully I was none the wiser until later that night or the next day. Apparently, I invited some cliquey friends and they were leaving out one of my more bubbly friends and making her feel terrible. Thankfully my mom sat in the middle of it all and talked up a storm as she loves and got everyone to be one groups not lots of little groups.
Lastly, my brother. Although he has been to my last three birthdays I'm always amazed he makes it out. Granted, this is our home, so odds were good he'd be there, but I wanted to make sure he wouldn't have ulterior plans. He stayed the entire night. He joked, he played, he was awesome.
It was that night that I was super grateful to have them in my life and to be able to show them off. I mean that in the best of ways.
I am certain the evening was a success, although since then I've only heard negative, petty commentary from people who were rubbed the wrong way so to speak by events that allegedly transpired through the night, that were brought to my attention a day or two later.
Nonetheless, I will enjoy the memories I have of that night and savor them and ignore all the other stuff, because what mattered most to me was fulfilled.
GREATEST BIRTHDAY EVER! Thank you all!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
I'm Back!
I'm sorry I haven't been posting. The Spring flew into the summer and before I knew it, I was in Europe with the shoddiest internet connections and no ability to write truly meaningful posts. So, I kept a written journal and now I am debating whether or not to write the pages on here verbatim or just give a brief overview of my two spell-binding months.
This post is brief because I'm just writing that I am alive and well, but I have so much to say so stay tuned. Besides the beautiful sites and all, I definitely had some breakthroughs in learning and affirming things about myself that I hope to share and maybe someone in the world will benefit from hearing my stories. Even if they are just for a laugh.
Love.
This post is brief because I'm just writing that I am alive and well, but I have so much to say so stay tuned. Besides the beautiful sites and all, I definitely had some breakthroughs in learning and affirming things about myself that I hope to share and maybe someone in the world will benefit from hearing my stories. Even if they are just for a laugh.
Love.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Spring is Around the Bend!
Although it does not seem like it, We're already in Spring of 2010. I have been 27 for three months now and I have got to say with the exception of a few pitfalls, the year is going amazing. My work life seems to finally be coming together and I'm feeling happy about the choice of switching from one subject to another and I am lucky because I still get to teach English (middle school, which isn't what I hoped but it's better than nothing.).
The only thing that upsets me is that I started teaching last year and I really truly have found a great friend a colleague, Elaine Palladino. She's genuine, kind, no-nonsense and I have learned a lot from her since I started working with her last year. What's best is that our relationship transcended from work to personal and I adore her. This year started off a bit differently, as opposed to last year, Elaine found her calling, if you will. She's begun a very small but awe-inspiring photography business. She is doing amazing for herself (as I knew she would) and I am so proud and happy for her I can't stand it. I see her blog and her pictorial posts and I mean she's gifted, it's new for her and she's searching for her niche but it's like a chrysalis becoming a butterfly slow and beautiful. When she gets it she really gets it right. At the same time, I am so, so sad. I know that her business is going to take off- talent like that doesn't get to be hidden for long and I know she may have felt a bit dissilusioned with teaching this year (she's amazing at that too by the by) and when it does and she leaves me, I'm. Going. To. Be. A. Wreck. I mean I know other people here at school, but no one like her, and no one as close as I am to her. I'm going to feel lost and overwhelmed. Funny though, she inspired me too. Since she went off to hone her photog skills, I decided to look within and see what I'm interested in doing, and like all people who don't live under rocks, I want to do so much! However, I am distinctly interested in baking. I want to perhaps Martha Stewart my way into the world of Baking and Pastries. However, I've put it on the shelf because A) I am dead broke and B) I am truly focused on losing weight this year - more on that later.
I'm truly grateful for the opportunity this summer of going to Europe for the first time ever. Nothing can stop me, I mean I'm going to have to die in order for this trip to be cancelled. I can't be the French teacher who's never been to France. I can't wait. I'm flying out June 15. I. Am. Elated! Hopefully the trip will have all the cliches that occur in film. I mean like discovering and learning new things about myself, perhaps falling in love- not necessarily with a man but maybe with a custom, a food, a palace or a landscape. My friends think I'm crazy for going alone but hey, I've made my decision and what's done is done. Am I scared? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't not only because I'm notoriously known as a GIANT Scaredy cat but because it's scary. Another continent- ALONE.
But Elaine leaving and myself travelling have two things in common if it doesn't kill me, it has got to make me stronger. I'm positive that I will grieve Elaine leaving for her destiny and I'll try and back out of going to Europe for sheer terror, but it will happen and I will go and I will come out the other side a better person for having the experiences.
Alright, weight loss. I know you read that blog where I said I wasn't kidding and it was on like Donkey Kong... truth be told- NIL was done. I know. FAIL of the century. But here's where I redeem myself. February 1st of 2010 I began a real honest to goodness life-altering "diet." It's in quotes because I'm not dieting in the original sense of attempting to lose weight. That's one side effect but my goals are simple- get fit where I feel comfortable in my skin, and two... my dad said if I reached a specific weight he'd quit smoking... Well, I'm pretty certain that weight is negotiable and I'm looking forward to seeing him squirm. I must say I feel ashamed still of how much I weighed at my fattest, and I don't feel I've lost enough weight yet to mention where I am at or where I need to be. Lot's of organic food, cutting out junk, soda, etc. However- not denying myself either. I have "cheat days" where I forgive myself and splurge on something. I have to say it's the first time I feel no pressure whatsoever, and I'm even sort of into the working out thing, which is the toughest. Do I wish I saw overnight results, yes. So since I'm desperate to weigh myself every two minutes (and don't) I have adopted this motto, "SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE." I am the tortoise and I am taking this day by day and patiently. I have to say I have a LOT of support. I don't tell everyone I come in contact with about it but those who do know are awesome to me. Even some people who don't know tell me they see a difference which feels awesome! There's nothing like the high of stepping on the scale and seeing you've lost 6lbs. as evident by my 6AM texts to my supporters! Elaine included!
As a direct result of this, I have also put on a shelf (literally) my aspirations of becoming world renouned baker extraordinare! I know that I am really interested in the industry and I know it's super hard work but the pay off is pretty awesome. I don't have the money to join cullinary school and unlike Elaine and her free-lance photography learn-as-you-go approach (which works for her because she's already so talented) I need to go to cullinary school because I suck at math and although I can bake a cake that serves four to ten people I can't convert the same recipe to serve 40- 50 people. I hate math. But I love cookbooks. I aspire to open my own confectionary one day. Like the one on Main Street in Disney.
Speaking of Disney, I'm going to drive up tonight literally on a wing and a prayer. I have no money but I'm driving up to visit my friends and play in the park. I have not been since the summer and I so love the DISNEY experience. First, I love the drive up. I usually drive up alone. I enjoy the time to rock out to my music, or talk to myself (Philosophically, of course, not as a psycho). I love getting there and getting updated on all the Disney people goings-on. Then I love going out and having fun. Lastly, I love going to the parks. My goodness I can't conceive how people say they tire of the parks! I worked there, I lived and breathed those parks top to bottom, good and bad (and there was BAD) but I adore it. I love the feeling of waiting in the queue rocking to Aerosmith waiting to ride their Rockin' Roller Coaster or although I never ride it because it scares the ever-living out of me the great queue of Hollywood Tower of Terror. It's genius!
I'm so looking forward to it. Also, I'm stepping out to EPCOT to enjoy my "cheating" with some French Patisseries!
Anyway, these are just some of the random thoughts rolling around in my brain currently. I guess you could say I was doing some mental Spring cleaning.
Love.
The only thing that upsets me is that I started teaching last year and I really truly have found a great friend a colleague, Elaine Palladino. She's genuine, kind, no-nonsense and I have learned a lot from her since I started working with her last year. What's best is that our relationship transcended from work to personal and I adore her. This year started off a bit differently, as opposed to last year, Elaine found her calling, if you will. She's begun a very small but awe-inspiring photography business. She is doing amazing for herself (as I knew she would) and I am so proud and happy for her I can't stand it. I see her blog and her pictorial posts and I mean she's gifted, it's new for her and she's searching for her niche but it's like a chrysalis becoming a butterfly slow and beautiful. When she gets it she really gets it right. At the same time, I am so, so sad. I know that her business is going to take off- talent like that doesn't get to be hidden for long and I know she may have felt a bit dissilusioned with teaching this year (she's amazing at that too by the by) and when it does and she leaves me, I'm. Going. To. Be. A. Wreck. I mean I know other people here at school, but no one like her, and no one as close as I am to her. I'm going to feel lost and overwhelmed. Funny though, she inspired me too. Since she went off to hone her photog skills, I decided to look within and see what I'm interested in doing, and like all people who don't live under rocks, I want to do so much! However, I am distinctly interested in baking. I want to perhaps Martha Stewart my way into the world of Baking and Pastries. However, I've put it on the shelf because A) I am dead broke and B) I am truly focused on losing weight this year - more on that later.
I'm truly grateful for the opportunity this summer of going to Europe for the first time ever. Nothing can stop me, I mean I'm going to have to die in order for this trip to be cancelled. I can't be the French teacher who's never been to France. I can't wait. I'm flying out June 15. I. Am. Elated! Hopefully the trip will have all the cliches that occur in film. I mean like discovering and learning new things about myself, perhaps falling in love- not necessarily with a man but maybe with a custom, a food, a palace or a landscape. My friends think I'm crazy for going alone but hey, I've made my decision and what's done is done. Am I scared? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't not only because I'm notoriously known as a GIANT Scaredy cat but because it's scary. Another continent- ALONE.
But Elaine leaving and myself travelling have two things in common if it doesn't kill me, it has got to make me stronger. I'm positive that I will grieve Elaine leaving for her destiny and I'll try and back out of going to Europe for sheer terror, but it will happen and I will go and I will come out the other side a better person for having the experiences.
Alright, weight loss. I know you read that blog where I said I wasn't kidding and it was on like Donkey Kong... truth be told- NIL was done. I know. FAIL of the century. But here's where I redeem myself. February 1st of 2010 I began a real honest to goodness life-altering "diet." It's in quotes because I'm not dieting in the original sense of attempting to lose weight. That's one side effect but my goals are simple- get fit where I feel comfortable in my skin, and two... my dad said if I reached a specific weight he'd quit smoking... Well, I'm pretty certain that weight is negotiable and I'm looking forward to seeing him squirm. I must say I feel ashamed still of how much I weighed at my fattest, and I don't feel I've lost enough weight yet to mention where I am at or where I need to be. Lot's of organic food, cutting out junk, soda, etc. However- not denying myself either. I have "cheat days" where I forgive myself and splurge on something. I have to say it's the first time I feel no pressure whatsoever, and I'm even sort of into the working out thing, which is the toughest. Do I wish I saw overnight results, yes. So since I'm desperate to weigh myself every two minutes (and don't) I have adopted this motto, "SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE." I am the tortoise and I am taking this day by day and patiently. I have to say I have a LOT of support. I don't tell everyone I come in contact with about it but those who do know are awesome to me. Even some people who don't know tell me they see a difference which feels awesome! There's nothing like the high of stepping on the scale and seeing you've lost 6lbs. as evident by my 6AM texts to my supporters! Elaine included!
As a direct result of this, I have also put on a shelf (literally) my aspirations of becoming world renouned baker extraordinare! I know that I am really interested in the industry and I know it's super hard work but the pay off is pretty awesome. I don't have the money to join cullinary school and unlike Elaine and her free-lance photography learn-as-you-go approach (which works for her because she's already so talented) I need to go to cullinary school because I suck at math and although I can bake a cake that serves four to ten people I can't convert the same recipe to serve 40- 50 people. I hate math. But I love cookbooks. I aspire to open my own confectionary one day. Like the one on Main Street in Disney.
Speaking of Disney, I'm going to drive up tonight literally on a wing and a prayer. I have no money but I'm driving up to visit my friends and play in the park. I have not been since the summer and I so love the DISNEY experience. First, I love the drive up. I usually drive up alone. I enjoy the time to rock out to my music, or talk to myself (Philosophically, of course, not as a psycho). I love getting there and getting updated on all the Disney people goings-on. Then I love going out and having fun. Lastly, I love going to the parks. My goodness I can't conceive how people say they tire of the parks! I worked there, I lived and breathed those parks top to bottom, good and bad (and there was BAD) but I adore it. I love the feeling of waiting in the queue rocking to Aerosmith waiting to ride their Rockin' Roller Coaster or although I never ride it because it scares the ever-living out of me the great queue of Hollywood Tower of Terror. It's genius!
I'm so looking forward to it. Also, I'm stepping out to EPCOT to enjoy my "cheating" with some French Patisseries!
Anyway, these are just some of the random thoughts rolling around in my brain currently. I guess you could say I was doing some mental Spring cleaning.
Love.
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