Between You, Me, and the Lamp Post

This blog makes me laugh now, but I was stupefied when it originally happened. It was shocking.

Original Blog Date: Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Oh Sexual Harassment, how you creep up out of nowhere, and you rear your ugly head at the worst possible time!

Here I am minding my business at work, being nice and sweet to everyone. Along comes a RETIRED engineer, who I am nice to, not more or less nice to him than anyone else at the office. HE doesn't work here anymore but he did for years and he's a friend to these people. Every time he came he would always tell me how pretty I am, which I'm used to from everyone (male or female) at the office because I'm the baby. He would always ask me why I didn't wear make up and how that would make me so much more beautiful. (SHOULD HAVE read the signs)

Last week, TO GET HIM OFF MY BACK, I wore a little Chapstick. He just went on and on about how beautiful I am, and how it brings out my great smile... Then he asks me if I have a boyfriend, to which I was honest, and he said, "Oh, I just figured that maybe your boyfriend had asked you not to wear make-up." SMOOTH HUH? Then before he leave he sits in front of me and asks, "Can you keep a secret?" (LESSON LEARNED: ALWAYS SAY NO!) I told him "SURE!" thinking he was going to burst out with a story about the office, one of the employees, or an embarrassing episode from his times here, or something a retired person does to relax, or some wise old guy advice. He tells me he'll tell me the following week.

Fast forward to yesterday. He shows up at the office, same old, same OLD... I go into one of the engineer's office (which is empty) to compare some paperwork and toss the duplicates, when in walks the retiree after me and asks again, if I can keep a secret. I again affirm, and then he tells me, "Well, Elaine, I think you're a wonderful girl, and I would like to take you out to lunch Saturday to a place I know you'll just love at 11AM."

INSERT GIANT GASP HERE!

I didn't know what to say, damn me and my respectful cowardice... I AGREED! HE asked me to write my address and my cell phone number on a paper for him and he would come get me Saturday and I followed suit. I left off my apartment number because he wasn't going to need it, and as he's leaving, he reads the paper and says "What's your apartment number? I'm an engineer I need to know every detail." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! But here's the kicker, as he leaves, he looks over at the other's to make sure they can't overhear and says, "Now remember, this is between you, me and the lamp post."

Well, I held up my end, and didn't say anything to anyone at work, which I believe is the right/wrong thing to do, but I made DAMN sure, my family, and ALL of my friends knew, in case Elaine went missing never to be heard from again on Saturday.... I had a super GIANT headache, and I was feeling awful the whole rest of the day, and so I took his cell number from the Rolodex, and gathered all my bearings, and I called him last night...

I told him I was very sorry but I had to cancel because I felt uncomfortable with "keeping a secret" and because I would rather our relationship stay at the office. I told him inviting me out was a nice gesture, but completely unnecessary. HE seemed to take it well, and NOW I just have to sit and wait, to make sure he doesn't get upset and spread rumors about this at work, or show up at my house and kill me. But I honestly am giving him the benefit of the doubt (now that it's over) that his intentions were honorable, but still a little inappropriate.

WHEW! I'm glad I dodged that bullet.

Update: I am so grateful this experience is behind me, this man could be my grandfather. I was also grateful I was able to discuss this with my parents who were supportive and not judgmental of any of the parties involved. I did find out later, he is a bit of a dirty old man. Towards my last days at the office, I recounted my tale of woe to a co-worker or two. Both women said the same,  that he had done it before. Thank goodness, for a moment I thought by negating the invite that he would retaliate by telling my bosses I hit on him, which would obviously be fatal because they there lifelong buddies and I was just a lowly assistant.