A BlogBlast from the PAST!

I originally wrote this sucker when I was living in Orlando on the Disney College Program. This goes to show not everything goes as planned in a new living situation. Read after the blog for the update.
Original Blog Date: January 13, 2006


I don't live there anymore so I can finally reveal the awful truth~! I despised my old roommates! I moved to Orlando on the Disney College Program and I was moved into the beautiful Chatham Square, everything was beautiful, my address my driveway, my room, my view, etc. UNFORTUNATELY, I had the most not beautiful roommates. I will break it down for you... I will leave their names out for obvious reasons...
Roommate 1: Looked like a mouse, had peach fuzz on her face, thought she was Asian (because she literally wore a karate jumpsuit with her black belt, cooked food from Epcot Japan and never cleaned up after herself was a complete slob.... she told me it was what happened when 4 people live together (FYI, I live with more people now and the house isn't messy) She didn't have friends from the ages of 5-15 (hello! SOCIAL skills lacking severely!) And she thought she knew everything about religion and civilization- she was smart no denying it but she was condescending as shit! She talked down to everyone in the house and she was actually the shortest one there. She seemed like she was irritated ALL the time I felt like she was PMS-ing eternally! She was always trying to be really practical and really helpful but it was just annoying and condescending...WE ARE ALL ADULTS FOOL!
Roommate 2: Ate her boogers...'nuff said. I kid you not. Actually, she was the messiest of all. She would eat with her mouth open, drop jelly on her clothes or on the floor and not clean it up. She would leave cans open everywhere, and never throw out trash let alone put anything in it, never washed anything. She made me sick just looking at how dirty she was. Super sweet down home girl, had a tragic life but that didn't excuse the nastiness. She drove slower than a bus...LITERALLY. Made me carsick (and I am not a carsick-y person) It was awful, dumb as a doornail... said things like "Hi-dee-ho!" WHOA!
Roommate 3: She was the straw that broke the camel's back. The reason I finally moved out. She was a monster, this girl was surgically altered! And I don't mean silicon breasts and lipo, I mean corrective surgery- her brother was cute though -too bad. She was also condescending. See a pattern. Went to sleep at 8pm and woke up at the crack of friggin' dawn to take medication- it looked like we had opened a CVS pharmacy in the apartment! She would turn the heater up to 80 and expect me not to melt away. So I would change the heater to 60 when she wasn't looking and she would retaliate and bring it back up so I would open my window (which is my right because I payed the same amount of friggin' rent and I could do as I liked.) One night I actually heard her say CLEARLY in her sleep" "IF YOU MESS WITH THE AIR AGAIN, I WILL KILL YOU" now those are some strong WORDS huh? Well anyway, one night after I got home from work and was out of the shower, she came up to me and told me if I opened the window she would have me kicked out and she would close the window if I opened it "because quite frankly you're making me sick" (Due to the window opening, I have like pneumonia or bronchitis over here!) But she also told me that she and the other two had gone to put in a complaint about me. There. That was all.
ALL I wanted to do since I got there was get rid of these girls from my life, I was so upset I would have to live with them till AUGUST, but I didn't want to hurt their feelings! AREN'T I A FUCKING SAINT!? Well, after the big ugly bitches ranted and raved I packed ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of my belongings as I cried, cussed at my parents on the phone, was IRATE, had my blood pressure through the roof, and was melting because the heater was at an astounding 1,000,000 degrees. Then I went to sleep at 2:30 AM and woke up at six to wait for the bus to take me to find out about the complaint and there was none (it was all a LIE) and I asked to be moved and they (the housing counselors) said it would take 2-3 weeks! HELL NO! They said they could expedite the move if we had counseling. So some lady came out and tried to talk me out of it, while someone called the roommates over. I only told her about that night and how I have never really felt comfortable there and she was telling me to keep trying what if things got worse etc. etc. Then she went to talk to the other girls (if you can call them that) and then she came back out with notes and shit (so clearly they gave her an earful about me-which I am grateful for...) and then the lady filled out a request form for me to be moved that same day, and GOD KNOWS I WAS JUMPING FOR JOY!!
Unfortunately, I was moved to another apartment complex, which is a little shabby, but the ROOMMATES! OH, THESE FOLKS KICK the other MONSTERS'S ASSES! I am so grateful to be with them, the sweetest, altruistic, smart, nice, NORMAL and pretty girls!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!
Update: Yes, that was the story of my tribulations the first month of my life in Orlando. I should've known things were going to be awful when Roommate #1 told me her name was Kimberly but never to call her that- she wanted to go by Chris. Right.
Then she told my brother and I how she googled how many people in her town had her exact name and how many of those people had the same birthday as her also.
Roommate #2. ATE HER BOOGERS- Hideeho's name was something forgettable. I remember her perfectly but the name doesn't come to mind.
Roommate #3, was a disaster and a half. The surgery she had had was to correct one of North Carolina's worst cases of under bite (her mother told me).
I'm so glad I left there. But it wasn't all peaches after I moved to the new place. I'll write a blog about life in 3905 at Vista Way, or Vista Lay as it was named by PLAYBOY magazine.