This blog is the last of the OLD blogs that I am pasting in here. After this one all of them will be current. Here is another officer+me debacle and the story of how I made it home with $16 from Orlando to Miami.
Original Blog Date: Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Alright, first off I want to say, that I LOVE DISNEY and I HEART ALL MY DISNEY FRIENDS new and OLD!
Now with that said, I also want it to be noted I am keeping FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER EVER EVER- a checkbook.
So, on the weekend of the ninth which I originally meant to go to to visit Heather and hang out with the Yoffe (apple of my eye), I had .02 cents in my bank account- yes, that little because I have a million bills and I am a TERRIBLE budgeter.
I moved it to last weekend. I had way more than I thought I would in my checking account and I left to Orlando HAPPY as a CLAM (however that might measure) and had a great time with Heather.
Saturday morning (I decided to check my account versus my checkbook) I look online and I am overdrafted by nearly $400.00 dollars and counting! I flipped out- I think I held it together better because I'm a seasoned overdraft pro and because Heather was right there in the room. I looked in my wallet and I thought I had $18 which would inevitably have to be designated to gas for my trip home- and I could not tell my parents I was broke because like a retard, I lied and said I was at the beach (in Miami) instead- because I knew they wouldn't approve of me making that trip knowing how broke we are currently. This was just a slap in the face and insult to injury in a beautiful little package!
I tried not to let it get to me, and I ended up playing in the parks with Heather as if nothing were wrong, except I kept having the urge to buy things and obviously could not do so- by Fastasmic I was starving and it was breaking my heart to have Heather know- especially because she's on Disney pay...
The reason I overdrafted was because my grandmother loaned me $400 to begin the process of my citizenship before the prices went up and I spent it (after I thought that the money had been lost (because I failed to certify that precious piece of mail) and I used it on another Orlando trip this past August. (Which I had a blast on- but should've declined to go).
The next morning I Mapquested my way home avoiding tolls. I have a little over half a tank of gas, and Mapquest suggest taking US-27, or as I was once told, "Bloody 27." So I'm freaking out but I decide to screw it because at least I am avoiding tolls and saving money. Turns out US-27 has 1 million stop lights! And they all seemed to turn red as I passed them... I mean seriously, there's no-one on the road, I get near the light and boom, it's red! So, every time I had to stop I prayed that my gas would not leave me deserted on this scary ass road. I mean there's one house every 4 million miles and it all seems to say, "TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE."
So I'm looking for budget gas, and I decided against $3.09 in Orlando (A mistake I will come to pay for). Suddenly, I'm seeing there are NO MORE towns/ gas stations ANYWHERE around and I have no idea where I am, and I...GET PULLED OVER!! YAY!
I was doing 85 (out of fear) and it was a 65 zone. Officer Walker of the "It's-my-job-to-pull-over-Elaine" police department of "Elaine-is-targeted-on-all-radar-in-this-town," asks me for my usual speeding credentials which I gladly offer over only after PLEADING (seriously) for him not to give me a ticket.
SO he goes back to his car, drinks something from his mug, comes out to the back of my car, and squats below it and then goes back to his car, and I'm meanwhile with my head on the steering wheel giving the theatrical performance of my young life! The shaking was involuntary but at this point the tears streaming and the mascara running were OSCAR winners. I also did not fail to mention to Officer Walker- that he had my favorite last name in the world.
Alright, now he's been in his car for all eternity- setting me back in time and in gas... HE comes back to my car to tell me, "Please step out of the vehicle." WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!?!? Don't they know not to do that to people who are not regulars on COPS!?!?!
It was to ask him to pleasure him sexually...NOT. Instead however, he told me my tag had been tampered with and was more than likely expired so he was giving me a break on the speeding ticket and gave me a $74.00 ticket for the tag. Cops hate me, it's official. For the rest of the drive home (where I kept speeding- sorry kids- 65 is walking!!) I kept thinking if I get pulled over again, I'm going to pull out the ticket from Officer Walker and tell the new cop, "No Need, THANKS- I've got it covered!!" and be on my way.
So, I finally see a gas station after miles and miles of road and "BEAR X-ing" signs and a DEAD monkey sighting. The gas here is $3.24 and with good reason! I skipped it looking for a cheaper deal, but I ended up passing the only gas station for miles and miles around! Finally, scared and running low on petrol, I hit West Palm- but it's not the West Palm known and loved by all, it's West Palm- "PIONEER Country." I keep praying my gas tank will let me survive till like Ft. Lauderdale, but I get on I-75 and I know I'm nearly home free.
Mind you- a little tidbit to add- for the majority of this ride I had NO CELL PHONE SIGNAL- which in and of itself is PETRIFYING- DON'T TRY IT SOMETIME. So, I got off on Miramar Parkway and paid $16.50 at $3.22 per gal. (should have gotten gas at $3.09) and I got home at 2:30PM that afternoon.
Needless to say it was a frightening experience, but I have LEARNED! I am smarter, better, and stronger for it! But I'm still BROKEst as well.
HAPPY TURKEY DAY ALL!
Update: I vowed that to be the last time I planned spontaneous trips without truly knowing how much money I had. I have been as good as possible with budgeting, but it is not easy. I hate math and I don't keep that ole checkbook anymore. I also know it would have been cheaper to go home on I-95 because stop/start driving wasted more gas. I have been pulled over only once since and I am still paying for it on my insurance.
I am no longer broke but I suspect it's only a matter of time. I lost $100.00 just yesterday. *I found it today though.
No comments:
Post a Comment