Life: The Good, The Bad, and the Inbetween

The Thing of It Is....

2010-11-11T19:48:00.001-05:00

I really would like to include pictures on my blog but I haven't the foggiest notion on how to do it!

That's my new challenge to be tackled as soon as possible!

On to the next order of business, diet. It's on... Yet again. I guess if at first you don't succeed try, try again.

I lost a bunch of weight from February 1st, 2010 till August of the same year and I was on cloud nine!!! "Elaine, you look so good!" "Elaine, have you lost weight?" I felt like I was unstoppable! But then I got back from Europe and things went downhill.

I stopped running (yes, I'd begun running), and I stopped attempting any kind of exercise activity! Mistake of enormous proportions-- ask my gut! Fail #1!

Fail #2 was when I stopped eating 6 meals a day, I stopped getting up early for breakfast, to prepare my lunch etc... I instead started eating fast food and pastelitos from when I sell them for my students!

However, all hope is not lost! A new plan has set in motion.

1) I plan to get back on track with my eating schedule starting November 15
2) I have a buddy who has told me she'll exercise with me at the crack of dawn! Which serves two purposes: I will be held accountable for my actions and secondly working out in the morning will serve to burn calories all day!!!
3) I printed on hot pink paper (hopefully the brightness of the paper will serve as a constant. Reminder) a schedule titled "From Couch to 5K" and I intend to follow it through.

How will I dodge the holidays??? I wonder too. But I am thinking this might help me sleep at night: unless my mother cooks something from a recipe book there isn't any holiday food I haven't ingested or don't know what it tastes like... Therefore, there's no reason to shovel cratefuls into my face during these times and I can still taste the holiday feasts and keep on the healthy side!

Good luck to me! Here I go AGAIN!!!

So many things, so little time.

2010-11-11T19:24:00.000-05:00

So it's not like I just figured this doozy of a statement right this second. I have known this for a very long time, however, it only grows more imminent as my life keeps passing by. I am settling into my life as I round the corner on almost thirty and I'm trying to focus on keeping it as jam packed with things for myself and to keep as little drama as possible. Keeping it balanced I like to think. Nonetheless, there are always barracades in the way and one can not help bumping into a little drama now and again.

Although, I know I owe the world (as if the world really reads this blog) a long overdue European blog, I am going to vent and see if through writing I can sort through this bump and move "smoovely" as some of my kids would say, on down the road of life.

Here goes, lately I am feeling a little overwhelmed at how underwhelming I feel life is being since I've gotten back from Europe. I know my biggest mistake is making comparisons between one and the other but I can not help it. When I write about Europe you'll see all I did was make comparisons about Europe to the US but only in the scenarios of weather or techonological influence.

I come back to the States and immediately jump right in to work. I only had 4 days to recuperate from my vacation and get myself back on Eastern Stardard time. The first couple days of work were a blur basically. I was there to organize my room and get things in order to start the new school year.

The new school year has begun, we are more than half of the way done with the 1st quarter. Time has been feeling like it's been dragging. In addition, I am the sponsor for the "Class of 2014" who are the Freshmen this year and the "Belly Dance Club" which who knows what that's going to be about. Meetings, meetings, and more meetings. Very time consuming. Time is beginning to pick up speed. I started out with a planning period at the end of the day but now I have a junior Enlish class (Time is severely picking up speed). On top of all this, my temporary teaching certification is up at the end of this school year so by June I need to get a move on a couple of things: I need to take the French K-12 exam (which I plan to take after winter break so I can study), I need to complete a teaching Portfolio (which I plan to do before winter break, so I am not stressing out about it while I'm trying to study for the exam!) and I need to complete a Reading Endorsement course that I am currently in on Tuesday nights from 5-9. Easy breezy, right? Now instead of feeling like the days are moving too slowly, the feeling is that they are over before I actually even got started! It's crazy.

Aside from all that, I am supremely proud to mention my baby brother is a United States citizen! From May of last year, to when I had come back in August he was completely through with the naturalization process, little after my return and shortly before his 24th birthday on September 11, he became one! I am exhilarated at the thought that one day he and I will travel overseas together! Really exciting, right? Now, the snafu, I have not taken him to get his passport yet. I keep forgetting to with all the other 4000 things running through my mind.

Then, on a more irrelevant note, the drama. Now it's not Emmy-award-winning, it's not even something to be nominated but it's there. My friends. I feel like since I've returned my fuse is short when it comes to some of the petty things that happen with them. It's crazy but I just don't care enough to please people as much anymore. If they make me unhappy, I'm just going to move on, it's not like I can not go through life without ever getting a little upset at them. So here it is. My two friends whose names I'll change for the sake of securing their identities and because heaven forbid one of them reads this and goes ape-poop. Alright, so Tiffany, she's a sweet, sweet person, but aggressive in the way that she does not even understand when it comes to going out. She seems like she's letting you make the decisions but in fact, she's slowly steering you in whatever direction she wants. Strike 1, Friday. I ask her what her plans are and she's doing a family thing, that's fine. I invite her out later because she says she's interested in going out when she's through. When I tell her where I'm going she tells me she's not in the mood to go there. No biggie. (Why does it upset me, because countless times I've gone places I don't want to for her- and I sometimes even enjoy it!) Saturday Stike 2. I invite her out again (because apparently I like to act like I am a lamb to the slaughter) she's up for it, she asks me to invite Karen. It's not that I don't like Karen (I actually just began talking to her again after she did a very mean thing to me like 3 years ago) but ask her yourself! You're the one that wants her to come so badly! Sheesh! Cut to later that evening, and we're having a great dinner except for the fact that there are some moronic kids who decided to dress up that day as zombies and I am freaking out because I am scared of them. I tell Tiffany not to draw any attention to us because I don't want them drawing their focus on us since I am the largest scaredy cat in the WORLD! (Self-proclaimed of course, I haven't won any awards for it yet) but I can see it in her eyes she's itching to tell one of them something, and of course the opportunity presents itself when one of those damn fools spits fake blood right next to me, and Tiffany explaims loudly how disgusting it is. So I walk ahead of her until I'm good and ready to confront her and I tell her I did not appreciate her not doing what I asked, and she said she was sorry she could not react the way I did to the situation. (Not an apology if you ask me) The rest of the evening went on without a hitch and it was amazing! Lastly, Strike 3 Domingo (Sunday)! I wake up super early and after having such a great night invite Tiffany to have breakfast with me. she does not mention she can't make it, even after I tell her that I am leaving in 10 minutes to her house (she's not my closest neighbor either- it's quite the haul) After I am on the road for like 15 minutes, she sends me a message that she is not going to be joining me for breakfast. WHAT?!?!?! What was I supposed to do? What does she think gas is free for me? Luckily my friend Sophia took me in for a couple minutes while I gathered my wits and then headed back home dejected. I apologized to Tiffany. I said, "I am sorry for having tried to be spontaneous, and I am sorry to have gotten upset at your rejection of it." Done and done.

The other one is Tessie, she has a new boyfriend who she surmises I "hate" and she claims no one has sold me down the river about this, and I told her, that I do not talk to anyone about him and much less about whether I like him or not. Geez- even writing it makes me want to puke with it's adolescent nature. But I know on occasion I have felt uncomfortable around him, but----

I decided not to continue with that insipid discussion with myself before I go insane and my brain cells die!

Anyway, as one can tell life is definitely happening and there's nothing to do to stop it...

On a sad note, I stopped my diet and have consequently ruined myself but there is hope around the bend, I'll keep you posted in case all can be saved! I am really excited about this new turn of events, more to come soon!!!

My Very Happy Birthday

2010-10-06T10:45:00.000-04:00

Birthdays, depending on who you are, can be a cause for great celebration or a cause for great depression. I have through my years had many of both. I have to say the last three years have been pretty amazing, however, this birthday tops all others!

I was turning 27- not a "party-it-up" kind of year, but I thought, "let's make the most of this, Elaine; next thing you know you'll be wishing you celebrated 27 when you're turning 50!"

So I sent out Text inviations (free and showing my technological advancement) asking everyone to my "Blue Party!" Basically the thought process behind this is that people all the time have black and white parties and my favorite color is blue so I'll take the concept and have an entire party where everything is blue- not considering that people tend to use blue for boy baby-showers until I went to pick up my balloons.

People invited and myself were to be dressed in blue, my decorations were to be blue and even the cake was blue!

I was so happy I invited more people than my little apartment could hold and truth be told a majority of the people invited showed, which in itself was a great gift! I was ecstatic.

I have, for as long as I can remember, raved about my mother's lasagna. I love it, it's a fan favorite. We joke around that any day Bobby Flay will show up at our door for an Ultimate ThrowDown we like it so much.

Therefore including in the invitation that besides wearing blue, people should also bring their appetites. Success!

I had all sorts of friends there, college friends, friends I'd made after, Disney friends, some of my brother's friends, etc. It was truly a great evening.

Things that were fantastic:
The amount of laughter that was both contageous and free-flowing
The fact that though no-one was getting drunk and that no music played, people still had a great time!
The games!

But one thing that really blew me away was the two most honored attendants, my parents. Usually, and most commonly, when either my brother or I invite anyone over to the house they like to make themselves the MOST inconspicuous people alive! They may RARELY say a passing hello t osomeone before they bolt to their bedroom (which I no dubbed "the Cabin"- thanks to Elaine's husband Mike) and are never to be heard or seen from again until the last guest has gone. HOWEVER, I don't know if it was because of my birthday or because of my amazing friends not only did my mother linger around a little longer than usual but my father. So ellusive people sometimes wonder if he lives with us!

He found someone at my party who he thoroughly enjoyed and although he bogarted them the rest of the night, I was grateful he stayed out. I'm only certain he spoke of photography with my great photog friend, but he is awesome to speak to and I'm glad that they got to see a side of him only my mother, brother, and I are privileged to see day-to-day.

My mother. The mediator. Thanks to her some bumps in my party were smoothed out and thankfully I was none the wiser until later that night or the next day. Apparently, I invited some cliquey friends and they were leaving out one of my more bubbly friends and making her feel terrible. Thankfully my mom sat in the middle of it all and talked up a storm as she loves and got everyone to be one groups not lots of little groups.

Lastly, my brother. Although he has been to my last three birthdays I'm always amazed he makes it out. Granted, this is our home, so odds were good he'd be there, but I wanted to make sure he wouldn't have ulterior plans. He stayed the entire night. He joked, he played, he was awesome.

It was that night that I was super grateful to have them in my life and to be able to show them off. I mean that in the best of ways.

I am certain the evening was a success, although since then I've only heard negative, petty commentary from people who were rubbed the wrong way so to speak by events that allegedly transpired through the night, that were brought to my attention a day or two later.

Nonetheless, I will enjoy the memories I have of that night and savor them and ignore all the other stuff, because what mattered most to me was fulfilled.

GREATEST BIRTHDAY EVER! Thank you all!

I'm Back!

2010-08-29T22:54:00.001-04:00

I'm sorry I haven't been posting. The Spring flew into the summer and before I knew it, I was in Europe with the shoddiest internet connections and no ability to write truly meaningful posts. So, I kept a written journal and now I am debating whether or not to write the pages on here verbatim or just give a brief overview of my two spell-binding months.

This post is brief because I'm just writing that I am alive and well, but I have so much to say so stay tuned. Besides the beautiful sites and all, I definitely had some breakthroughs in learning and affirming things about myself that I hope to share and maybe someone in the world will benefit from hearing my stories. Even if they are just for a laugh.

Love.

Spring is Around the Bend!

2010-03-12T14:27:00.000-05:00

Although it does not seem like it, We're already in Spring of 2010. I have been 27 for three months now and I have got to say with the exception of a few pitfalls, the year is going amazing. My work life seems to finally be coming together and I'm feeling happy about the choice of switching from one subject to another and I am lucky because I still get to teach English (middle school, which isn't what I hoped but it's better than nothing.).
The only thing that upsets me is that I started teaching last year and I really truly have found a great friend a colleague, Elaine Palladino. She's genuine, kind, no-nonsense and I have learned a lot from her since I started working with her last year. What's best is that our relationship transcended from work to personal and I adore her. This year started off a bit differently, as opposed to last year, Elaine found her calling, if you will. She's begun a very small but awe-inspiring photography business. She is doing amazing for herself (as I knew she would) and I am so proud and happy for her I can't stand it. I see her blog and her pictorial posts and I mean she's gifted, it's new for her and she's searching for her niche but it's like a chrysalis becoming a butterfly slow and beautiful. When she gets it she really gets it right. At the same time, I am so, so sad. I know that her business is going to take off- talent like that doesn't get to be hidden for long and I know she may have felt a bit dissilusioned with teaching this year (she's amazing at that too by the by) and when it does and she leaves me, I'm. Going. To. Be. A. Wreck. I mean I know other people here at school, but no one like her, and no one as close as I am to her. I'm going to feel lost and overwhelmed. Funny though, she inspired me too. Since she went off to hone her photog skills, I decided to look within and see what I'm interested in doing, and like all people who don't live under rocks, I want to do so much! However, I am distinctly interested in baking. I want to perhaps Martha Stewart my way into the world of Baking and Pastries. However, I've put it on the shelf because A) I am dead broke and B) I am truly focused on losing weight this year - more on that later.

I'm truly grateful for the opportunity this summer of going to Europe for the first time ever. Nothing can stop me, I mean I'm going to have to die in order for this trip to be cancelled. I can't be the French teacher who's never been to France. I can't wait. I'm flying out June 15. I. Am. Elated! Hopefully the trip will have all the cliches that occur in film. I mean like discovering and learning new things about myself, perhaps falling in love- not necessarily with a man but maybe with a custom, a food, a palace or a landscape. My friends think I'm crazy for going alone but hey, I've made my decision and what's done is done. Am I scared? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't not only because I'm notoriously known as a GIANT Scaredy cat but because it's scary. Another continent- ALONE.

But Elaine leaving and myself travelling have two things in common if it doesn't kill me, it has got to make me stronger. I'm positive that I will grieve Elaine leaving for her destiny and I'll try and back out of going to Europe for sheer terror, but it will happen and I will go and I will come out the other side a better person for having the experiences.

Alright, weight loss. I know you read that blog where I said I wasn't kidding and it was on like Donkey Kong... truth be told- NIL was done. I know. FAIL of the century. But here's where I redeem myself. February 1st of 2010 I began a real honest to goodness life-altering "diet." It's in quotes because I'm not dieting in the original sense of attempting to lose weight. That's one side effect but my goals are simple- get fit where I feel comfortable in my skin, and two... my dad said if I reached a specific weight he'd quit smoking... Well, I'm pretty certain that weight is negotiable and I'm looking forward to seeing him squirm. I must say I feel ashamed still of how much I weighed at my fattest, and I don't feel I've lost enough weight yet to mention where I am at or where I need to be. Lot's of organic food, cutting out junk, soda, etc. However- not denying myself either. I have "cheat days" where I forgive myself and splurge on something. I have to say it's the first time I feel no pressure whatsoever, and I'm even sort of into the working out thing, which is the toughest. Do I wish I saw overnight results, yes. So since I'm desperate to weigh myself every two minutes (and don't) I have adopted this motto, "SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE." I am the tortoise and I am taking this day by day and patiently. I have to say I have a LOT of support. I don't tell everyone I come in contact with about it but those who do know are awesome to me. Even some people who don't know tell me they see a difference which feels awesome! There's nothing like the high of stepping on the scale and seeing you've lost 6lbs. as evident by my 6AM texts to my supporters! Elaine included!

As a direct result of this, I have also put on a shelf (literally) my aspirations of becoming world renouned baker extraordinare! I know that I am really interested in the industry and I know it's super hard work but the pay off is pretty awesome. I don't have the money to join cullinary school and unlike Elaine and her free-lance photography learn-as-you-go approach (which works for her because she's already so talented) I need to go to cullinary school because I suck at math and although I can bake a cake that serves four to ten people I can't convert the same recipe to serve 40- 50 people. I hate math. But I love cookbooks. I aspire to open my own confectionary one day. Like the one on Main Street in Disney.

Speaking of Disney, I'm going to drive up tonight literally on a wing and a prayer. I have no money but I'm driving up to visit my friends and play in the park. I have not been since the summer and I so love the DISNEY experience. First, I love the drive up. I usually drive up alone. I enjoy the time to rock out to my music, or talk to myself (Philosophically, of course, not as a psycho). I love getting there and getting updated on all the Disney people goings-on. Then I love going out and having fun. Lastly, I love going to the parks. My goodness I can't conceive how people say they tire of the parks! I worked there, I lived and breathed those parks top to bottom, good and bad (and there was BAD) but I adore it. I love the feeling of waiting in the queue rocking to Aerosmith waiting to ride their Rockin' Roller Coaster or although I never ride it because it scares the ever-living out of me the great queue of Hollywood Tower of Terror. It's genius!
I'm so looking forward to it. Also, I'm stepping out to EPCOT to enjoy my "cheating" with some French Patisseries!

Anyway, these are just some of the random thoughts rolling around in my brain currently. I guess you could say I was doing some mental Spring cleaning.

Love.

I Am Who I Am

2010-01-10T20:19:00.000-05:00

I make no apologies.
Recently, I found out that a friend of mine (ex, now) had ceased to speak to me. I spent the entire summer, fall and winter mind-fucked trying to figure out what the matter was.

Apparently, I spent a week at her house and she claimed I complained excessively and I picked on her fiance (now husband) too much.

Well, a couple things are at play here.

One, first and foremost, to begin (I can't get enough transitions in here), I am who I am. I don't remember the week in question but I was under the impression we had a FANTASTIC time. I loved her home, I thought it was cozy and sweet, they went out of their way to accommodate me. I don't recall the complaining (I am not copping out- wait for secondly). I was grateful, I tried to not be a bother, I didn't request much, if I needed anything I bought it for myself, I didn't ask for handouts. I don't have much money so I didn't offer to by much.
Now, I believe if you're TRULY friends with someone you should be up front with them. I shared a room with said person the ENTIRE week, not once did she mention, "hey, Elaine, could you tone it down, you said this, this, and this, and it really upset me." No. Instead they took the route of Brittany Murphy in that film with Michael Douglas, "I'll never te-ell!" And continuously LET me make an alleged ass of myself.

Things I didn't enjoy:
The beach. It's the Gulf of Mexico. I am from Miami and I like my Atlantic ocean. I found it muddy and dirty and I didn't like it. But I wasn't there to write a review on Texan beaches, I was there to have an AMAZING time with my friends (which I THOUGHT we HAD HAD!)
Some of the local food. I'm Hispanic, I don't like Mexican food automatically. Just because Texans think Hispanics are all Mexican doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to make me Mexican food (which is way different than the Miami food I am used to knowing as "Mexican") and I most certainly don't like Spicy food. But I wasn't there as a food critic, I was there to eat with my friends!
I don't know, I don't think I would've even cared if we had done nothing but stay at the house ordering Pizza Hut all week and watched Disney movies. I was there to be with my friends and that's all I cared about, so everything else was superfluous. As far as the fiance was concerned I was just trying to make good with him because I'd just met him. I don't know how I acted but it must've not been good and again NO ONE said anything to me, and so I kept making a COMPLETE ass of myself. MAybe I still haven't learned how to act around my friends boyfriends.

Secondly, I'm borderline extreme. To know me is to love me. I am very passionate, it is probably a composition of different things. My hispanic culture (which I constantly try to deny) my devotion to my friends and my personality and the fact the I don't think I have a filter. So I make NO excuses for the things that I say. Because when I like something, I mean really like something, I can't stop talking about it. I mean compliments, great descriptions, I mean I'll put it on a pedestal. By the same token, if I don't like something, I will mention it as well. I try not to beat a dead horse about it, but I will speak my mind, and who better to do that with, than with your friends! Now, if I really, truly, despise something, I won't say a word. My silence is fierce. You don't want me quiet.

So there you have it. It's unfortunate I lost my friendship but I guess this would have happened sooner or later, I think a better (not truer because I don't think it was fake) friend, would have stepped up to the plate and told me, "Hey, pipe down, Elaine your saying this, that, and the other is bothering us." Would I be upset about it? Oh yea, but I would check myself. It's not asking much!

Oh well, there's a lesson here. I don't blame the person, I don't blame myself, but I will attempt to rectify and maybe censor myself in the future.

I do miss my friend, not for her Texan beaches, or her spicy food, but her laughter, her humor, and her sense of self worth which I felt was much like mine. I wish her the best. Always.

2009-12-28T14:15:00.002-05:00

The following is a brief thing I wrote for a contest...
Let me know if it's worthy of winning. The point was to write some ways that are best for saving on gift giving during the holiday season...

"It may seem there aren't many ways for saving during the holidays- there's always someone who sneaks out of the woodwork that you have to buy a last minute trinket or two for. However, here are some things I've picked up along the years of being on the program and needing to save as much money as possible!

First- you can make an online photo album for close family and friends and they can choose to print out copies of pictures if they enjoy them! If you're like most people, you have some availability to a digital camera, or a local pharmacy that will make you a photo cd (which aren't as costly as they seem) and you can upload the prints (or if you're a little less computer savvy, enlist the help of a friend) and there are plenty of sites out there that will let you create FREE albums and SHARE them with people on you email lists! It's a great gift because pictures can say a thousand words without spending a THOUSAND dollars!

Another option is to bake! I work at a school, and therefore I have two departments' worth of colleagues. I like to go and make them my special sugar cookies! Because they are made with LOVE! Most of us already have the basic ingredients, such as, eggs and butter, so just buying the mix shouldn't set you back too far! Also, I just cam e across a friend who made chocolate covered pretzels for next to nothing!

Lastly, I like to get back to basics. Remember how when you were a kid, your teachers would give you construction paper and have you make cards for your family? Well, this is something like that. You can choose to buy some simple stationary and write some heartfelt holiday wishes for your friends, family and co-workers, and dazzle them up by decorating them! It doesn't have to get too over the top, even if you just have construction paper, markers, scissors, and glue you can go a long way. Think about the person who is getting it and decorate accordingly.

People will love their personalized gifts and enjoy that you put effort into getting them something rather than passing by a store and ordering up a gift card or a dozen! That can be costly and it shows lack of imagination. These are some of my favorite ways of saving for the holidays. Enjoy!"

Let me know what you think!

Reflection Time

2009-12-26T16:40:00.000-05:00

The year is coming to a close and what better way to end the year than with a post reminiscing about the good, bad, and the in between that happened this year in my life.

As a disclaimer, I don't want to dwell on all the terrible things, so when I get to the bad I am going to try to keep it as brief as possible even if at this point in my life I might think they outweigh the good.

To begin my birthday was amazing! January 31st was a wonderful day, crisp weather, high spirits! I had a gorgeous dinner with gorgeous friends and my lovely brother! I couldn't ask for more! What a special way to start the year. February I went to Virginia with my brother and we went skiing for a weekend. Although, I am not a prolific skier I will never forget the sight of my brother whooshing down the face of the mountain he had gone up to "slowly" come down with my cousins and my uncle. The thrill of him coming down at high speed and the absolute terror I felt because I didn't know if he'd be able to stop! Two emotions that ran parallel only to see the sheer joy on his face when he stopped at the bottom and told me he'd pretty much had enough... Amazing. (especially because he was skiing with a bum leg!)

Spring came with not many ups and downs, I had a lovely time playing at game nights with my great friends! How much laughter we shared at each other's expenses remains the best part of our nights together. Reminiscing about silly comments and piggy-backing off of each others retorts, as well as some deeply considered rhetoric on our beliefs... I'll always cherish those moments no matter what.

Finally the summer! What a BLAST! A journey pretty much on my own to discover who my true friends are! I went and spent a magnificent week in Orlando! I rode all types of roller coasters, ate all sorts of food, endured all sorts of embarrassment as a wet me tripped and fell in the queue of the Mummy ride! But it was divine because I was among friends who share a common past and the love of Disney things with me! I also got to experience Sea World for the first time ever and boy, did I make the most of it! I rode MANTA! But more importantly I touched a dolphin! It was a trying task but I made it! Tip to tail! Then I flew to Texas where I spent a lovely week among what I think are my best friends and a couple days later I find my hostess is never speaking to me again, but I haven't the slightest idea why. (She recently got married and I wish her the best) I only wish she'd feel strong enough about our friendship to have told me what had gone wrong as I completely in the dark about it and quite upset, but oh well, that's life. Regardless, I can honestly say my summer was amazing, but not as amazing as next summer I will be in EUROPE!!!

Then we come to the beginning of this school year. So many great things! I went back to school early for some special training and it turns out I got so much more than I had bargained for! I got great friendships with my new team since I would be teaching 7th grade language arts- but wait! Suddenly, I am am welcomely thrust into another department- foreign languages! I am the school's new FRENCH TEACHER! What a delight. I love my french students and I am utterly excited about the prospect and as the time has gone on, it has proven super positive! It's been a lovely experience! A few bumps in the road, but I am able to surpass them, and try to better myself and my students as learners!
I am so excited about my new subject and all it entails and the wonderful projects I am doing with them!

Now for the bad, which suddenly feels like it all fell upon me in a matter of moments and I feel like if it is coming in waves and I can't get my head above to right myself and get away from it all!
My father- the bread winner of my home, is in dire straits and isn't getting any work (not in the US at least) and due to that our financial circumstances have quickly declined and I am in no position to fix it, try as I might.
My brother lost his job, just when I needed him to help me out, helping out the family, most.
My poor mother, lost her mother and her eldest sister in less than a year.
I have been sickly so much this year, I can pinpoint the dates, Sept., early November, Thanksgiving, Christmas... I can only hope that I don't get sick again for the new year or my birthday. I also want to be over this cold pronto.
Also, (and I think this might be culprit as to why my immunity is so low) my wallet being stolen. I can't believe I gave those thieves a friggin' burglar Christmas gift basket!

Anyway in between, I live my life day to day, thankful for the little things, like a good movie (I cried while watching Mr. Holland's Opus), baking cookies for my family at midnight on Christmas, or listening to "Tiny Dancer" while writing this post.

I am grateful I have been blessed with my life regardless of how it pans out. Take it one day at a time is my motto. It's the only way to seize it!

I hope your holiday is fantastic and you can reminisce about the great and not-so of this year and look forward to the new year coming upon us!

I AM...

2009-12-19T19:12:00.001-05:00

A Statistic. I can't believe it but it's true. As I live and breathe and manage through this debilitating migraine of stress; I am going to recount how I became the lead character in every one of the forwards every girl has ever received.

My father asked me to go pump gas for him (stop me if you've heard this) and gave me his debit card which I tossed in my wallet and left the house.

I arrived at a local BP gas station and pulled the card from my wallet, threw the wallet in the cup holder and got out to swipe the card.

I leaned against the car and I felt it move, I see a car behind me and I thought for a split second they burgled me but then hesitated and thought they'd probably hit my dad's car. I round over to the passenger side and sure enough the door looks like it was closed improperly and I open it and VOILA! My WALLET IS GONE!

I didn't get a good look at the car, just a charcoal sporty mazda, or nissan. I immediately call 911. I'm livid with myself. WHY DIDN'T I LOCK THE GOD DAMN DOORS!

The cop arrives and she asks to see the video footage, I watched in SHOCK as the thieves (who I wish nothing but future harm and explosive diarrhea, and cancer on them and their families) circled my car not once, not twice, but thrice! Before they actually lined up beside me and took my wallet. I mean it was a matter of a minute or two, and I didn't notice until the very end!

I cannot unsee these images. I feel like if in the video I would just turn around, I could stop them. Or if she played it from the beginning video Elaine would lock the doors.

Not only did they steal my license and my debit cards, they stole my social security. The end all be all. I strongly believe that our fingerprints should be our social security. If someone does like on the tv shows and the spy movies and clones them, I'll worry about it then but a friggin' 9 digit number that is now in someone else's possession? Too easy.

As I called one of the debit cards (I have 2, one I use and one that has been out of service because there are 0.04 cents in the account), the one with 4 cents reports that I used it already halfway on the other side of town! I couldn't believe it!
Who am I angriest at? Myself. I knew better, what was I thinking? Not just the doors, but I know better than to carry around my social.

Another thing I noticed in the short amount of time it took for my world to crumble. When you call your banks to cancel cards they ask you for ALL the information that you regularly carry in your wallet (except for the social) but they have everything else. In my case, if they wanted to counter my calls to the bank with calls of their own -- it would be CAKE.
Name? Done.
Address? Done.
Social? Done.

They don't ask those "security questions" unless you've forgotten something you ask them to go that far...

I feel so utterly helpless. Alone in my misery. Holiday ruined.

I feel like they can show up at my door any minute.

What makes it worse is that a couple of people have said, "well, be thankful you're ok." Really, I know that's the truth, but c'mon! I'm not particularly digging the fact that for the rest of my life, I'm going to be scrutinized for everything I do in case a FALSE me is trying to get away with something. Boy did I give some assholes a FANTASTIC Christmas gift!

Yes, I am grateful that I am alive, I wasn't harmed any physical way except for being totally mind-fucked and having a subsequent headache for the rest of my days.

Immune-system fail

2009-12-12T01:44:00.002-05:00

I can't seem to stay healthy! Just when I get to thinking I've recovered from some debillitating illness, I'm down for the count again! I know everyone has all these remedies and I follow some and for the most part my dad has got it right, "a cold with medication lasts 7 days and a cold without meds lasts 7 days." But I feel like I have 3 days in between before I'm out again! And I am not a happy kid when I'm sick! I mean I doubt anyone loves being sick, but I am (hate to admit it) a Whiner!!
I was just starting to feel better from my stuffy nose and coughing and stuff and now I'm getting these blinding migraines! Come on! What did I do to deserve this?

So I think I'm done whining... Just wanted to get it out there in the world, I'm not the portrait of health. But I will keep trying my darndest to recuperate and stay recooped!

Done with being sick! F-that!
Thumbs down!

Thanks for your well wishes!

Here We Go!

2009-11-15T21:07:00.002-05:00

This post is very meaningful to me.

Like many people out there in the world, I have struggled with diet/ health issues for a long time. The score being food; 1 million: me; zero.
I intend to change that!
I know like many people I have COUNTLESS times said, "Ok, I am setting my alarm for 5AM and I am going to walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes. After, I will get ready for work." Then 5AM rolls around and it is so much easier to reset the alarm and go back to sleep in my warm, comfy, cozy, and snuggly bed. WRONG! This has gone on too long and I am ashamed to say it but the easy way out is called easy for a REASON!

So what's going to make tomorrow different from the other days, you ask? Well, I am going to give it the old college try for the Nth time. I have no idea whether I'll win or lose, but I have to try, try again.

There are a few things different now. For one, I feel more uncomfortable in my body than ever (WOW! I can't believe I wrote that online!). Two, this time like the ONE and ONLY other time I was able to achieve a healthy lifestyle (in college) I have support. I'll explain further later. Third, I really want to have an amazing time in Europe and I don't want to spend it winded and tired.

I think those are pretty decent reasons right- besides the old "I want to live a Healthy life." That's most important of all, and although it's the most obvious reason it's not the main reason some people (me) try to live that lifestyle.

Also, in the not-so-distant but not-too-near future (maybe next year after Europe) I would like to attempt to jog/walk a 13K. I'm not training for it now, it's going to be like the icing on the cake- the proof in the pudding, so to speak... man, I am using a lot of sugar-coated language!

So recently, I have rekindled an old friendship with a girl who was really close to me for most of my college career. With her as my food Nazi, I accomplished a load of weight loss (pardon the pun) and I can't thank her enough for it. So, since her return, I figured I couldn't lose anything not to ask and she agreed to "spot" me. So we are to weigh in Tuesday mornings, and call it in at night to each other. She will serve as my guide to keeping on track and watching my snacks and so on and so forth. I know she won't let me break and I kinda "don't wanna get in trouble" so I will oblige to her rules.

Secondly, my friend Elaine, recently told me, "it takes 21 days to create a habit." So I'm counting down 21 fitness days! I have marked my calendar and tomorrow begins counting DOWN from 21. I will wake up at 5AM and walk 2 miles in 30 minutes.
Will I be a regular grumpykin? -- Without a shadow of a doubt.
Will I probably fall asleep at the drop of a dime? - Yes.
Will I have migraine headaches and possible vomiting? -- Yes and yes.
But will I get over it by week 2? Day 2? Maybe. Who knows. Another thing I got from Lainey is that she entered in National Novel Writing Month and she stated that the website told her to use shame as a powerful tool. So I am putting it out here for those few who come across this, it will be really hard and pitiful if two days--a month from now I blog that I was a quitter.

I'll tell you one thing, expect a whiney blog here and there. Hopefully the rest will be grateful ones. As my friend Adriana says, "you are health." That's the affirmation she wants me to use. Hell, I'll try it!

Also, and this is the real tragedy folks. In this economy where every penny counts, for the past 2 years I have been gifting away $16.00 to Weightwatchers.com. I never log on to it, I never track points, I never read the emails. But I never cancel- JUST IN CASE. Well, here's the case! Since I have Adriana now, I will be creating a regular login check, I will login the points in the AM after school and at night. I will write everything down in my notebook and I will track everything. Sixteen smackers will finally be put to good use! Do ya feel me!?

So, by eating right- Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner (with snacks) and watching the calories AND the exercise, we should see some gradual but real results!

Am I nervous I'm not gonna wake up tomorrow- yes, but I will have to try it! I know it won't kill me so that's a plus.

I will keep you posted on my progress (I refuse to think there will be a lack thereof- therefore I WILL NOT write the possibility attempting to squash it!)

Wish me luck! I will succeed, I AM HEALTH! DAMN IT!

Thank you.

Putting It Out in the World

2009-10-18T16:36:00.002-04:00

I have heard a lot of people say, "if you repeat affirmations they'll come true. " Or, "You know that book, The Secret? If you put out in the world that you are going to do something, then it'll come back to you, (or whatever)." I usually don't pay any attention to that kind of stuff because I'm not one to have blind faith in anything.... however, aren't they all just the grown-up way of wishing on a star? I think so, and the Disney kid in me says- "Yea, it works!"

So here I am. I am writing this blog post today with the express purpose of this very thing happening. Call it wishing, affirming, what-have-you.

This summer I am going to spend my vacation in Europe. The end. I think if I wrote, "I hope" to spend it in Europe then I might be tempting the fates not to allow me. Since I am master of my destiny, I would like to think if I say "I WILL" then I must.

Here are some things I am using to set my plan in motion:

I have proposed to the universe the fact that this is my intention.

I have taken 3 tutoring positions- 2 in school and 1 particular and I MUST save that money in my savings account to have for the trip.

I have alerted all the friends and family that I have who live in Europe to the fact that I will be there. (So as to have people to visit with and to provide for room and board.)

I have told all my friends I am going instead of making a list of friends who I would like to come with and asking them if they'd go with me, because if that was the case, if no-one said yes, I would be put off and end up cancelling.

Made up my mind that if I go alone, I go alone (not in the Taken film kind of alone, but alone nonetheless). If someone decides to come with, I am more than happy to take them on but if it's just me- so be it. I am actually looking forward to it with or without someone. (This bit sounds like I'm lonely, but really I'm writing it to show how independent I am-FAIL)

Lastly, I WILL,MUST,SHALL, never waiver under any circumstances on my goal. Europe it is. OR else. I don't know if I could forgive myself if I didn't go to Europe this summer. I am single, I have the means (sort of) and I'm young, when could be a better time?

I don't have any whole-hearted plans on coming back engaged to some Italian guy... (I want a Scot or Irish guy instead- just kidding. Sort of.) I know movies like P.S. I Love You and the like promote the fairytale that a girl goes abroad and meets the man of her dreams and then moves back with him stateside, and I certainly respect the fact that the probability of that happening is miniscule. But I did garnish the hope that maybe- and hell, if I'm PUTTING it out there in the world I am going to Europe, why not include me some true love?

I will go to Europe- however, the stops are a bit fuzzy. I have family in Spain, and Germany. I have friends in Estonia, and England. I want to visit, France and Italy. And all of the UK. And Switzerland and Austria. That's the only snag, but I am sure I'll figure it out I have till June 2010 to sort it out. And it's ok if I don't see everything. I'll be able to go again! OF COURSE!

What else can I project into the universe? Eternal health and beauty? Just kidding. I just want to live a long, happy, prosperous, loving, life. I want to share happiness with my friends and family as long as life will let me.

Alright, that said and done it's time to get on Expedia.com and book some travel. (Or at least glance at it.)

Cool Weather

2009-10-18T16:10:00.001-04:00

It's a cool 60-something degrees on this beautiful Sunday morning. Golly, (yes, I just used that term) it sure is nice to wake up bundled up in your sheets with the fresh outdoor air brushing your cheek (CHEESE-AY! But soooo nice).

Yester-DAY was super hot and I wondered, goodness are we ever going to get to experience a little bit of autumn weather in Miami? Well, not exactly but close enough. We went from burning up like the lady in Terminator, to Chilly Willy. It's not ideal but it's so relaxing. I love seasons. And as Daniel Tosh says, "That's why I live in a place that skips the shitty ones." I don't necessarily think there are such, but Miami is kind of a two weather-ed animal. HOT/RAINY or COOL/VERGE OF COLD. I enjoy all of these. I do wish I got to see leaves change but I have the comfort of knowing it's happening right now somewhere. (I close my eyes to hear a lone leaf fall off a redwood.- Ah, if only.)

I'm sitting in the master bedroom staring out my 5th floor window and I see lots of green, maybe a smidge of yellow, but I feel the cold air. Fall has at last come to Miami. It might be shortlived but break out your turtle necks and long boots. Even if it's just for a day.

Sitting here typing with my purple fingers, I feel at peace. It's Sunday, there's no school for the kids tomorrow and so I'll enjoy some quiet time to catch up on grading... in essence I am not concerned about whether I'm behind on something or my lesson plans haven't been drawn up yet. I know I am the architect of my destiny and I will get these things done. As a friend of mine likes to say, "Future Elaine will deal with this." It's not a nod to procrastination, it's an awareness that I will do what needs to be done but right now I have to enjoy what's happening. I'm exhilarated, not sleepy, I am kind of in the mood to kick back in a hoodie at the beach. But I think I'll sit here. Still.

I hate getting all hippie-like. But I am just feeling it, man! So great to not let everyday tedious stresses get to you, especially when we're all full to the brim of crazy on an everyday basis.

I've come to learn that there are three sounds I love.

Silence- because I notice I don't come by enough of it anymore. There's something soothing about complete silence, if you don't let it scare you.

Great conversation- because nothing is as engaging as listening to your parents talk about their youth, or historical facts about people and places you love, or reminiscing or hatching new plans of adventure with friends.

Music- when you don't necassarily want to turn to anyone or don't want to think about anything specific; immersing yourself in music is probably the greatest place on Earth to go. Regardless of the songs, Metallica, 50 Cent, Mariah Carey, or Enya. Music is universal and it helps you create your own personal universe.

I feel so at ease, I wonder if I'm on a trip of some sort? (SAY NO TO DRUGS KIDS!!!)

NO Twitter, No Facebook, or Myspace updates to send out, my phone is on vibrate in another room of the house. Even my little doggie is lounging.

Two words: Good Times.

Swine Flu

2009-10-18T15:51:00.001-04:00

I hate to have to discuss this topic but it seems to be on everyone's tongue. I don't know much but I know I hate the flu... sang to the old school tune by Aaron Neville.

After my last post, literally the day after, I became so violently ill, I missed school for nearly a week! Did I have swine flu? Probably not. Please, remember folks, regular ole no-name flu can kill you too- swine flu is just like it's roided out cousin.

I doubt anyone likes getting sick and least of all when their isn't a caring, nurturing someone to baby you like Danny Tanner took care of Stephanie in that episode she kept proclaiming, "I'm siiiiiiiiiiick." I feel you girl!

I'll spare you the gory details but I was not a happy camper- especially because I'd had such an amazing night before the fevers, chills, and being debilitated.

Anyway, I was out of comission for a week, but I'm good now, and it certainly isn't my excuse for not writing in nearly a month. The real reason is, I didn't want to make my posts like a journal- I wanted to write insightful, humorous tidbits for all to enjoy. That is why I started (after a suggestion from a friend) to write "Morning Pages." She told me to grab a little journal write what's stuffing up my brain for 3 pages and not look back. I have found this exercise to be welcome and at the same time slow to become a habit. I miss a couple days and then out of guilt I write 9 pages... I can't go on like that! It's not the point! But it certainly does clear up clogs. I remember things better. I have more calm in my day to day, I'm happy to write. Hopefully, I can pick it up and do it everyday (although to be honest mine are more "evening pages" than anything else.)

Anyway this was just a bit of a spew post- where I wrote a couple random thoughts. Swine flu and "morning pages" have no relation except that they are both constants in my life one is visual and one auditory.

Simple Pleasures

2009-09-05T21:27:00.005-04:00

Let's face it. Sometimes I can't wait until Saturday night to call up my few single remaining girlfriends, doll ourselves up, and go out for a crazy night of adventure! Who doesn't? However, there are those rare Saturdays where you don't want to do anything, and it turns out you do a whole lot of it and it is more amazing than the inevitable aftermath of a night out with the girls (ie. sore feet from dancing in fancy heels).

This Saturday was just that for me. My aforementioned single girlfriends are out of town, and it's a nice rainy day. I woke up and read, then, I watched some US Open.
Later, my mother prepared a delicious "carne con papas" including a new ingredient: carrots! What a hit! For her and me. My father not a fan. Then I went and listened to my ipod on shuffle, how great! All the songs where lazy Saturday kind of songs, not too new, not too fast, not to going out-sy. Great vibe. Took a nap, woke up set the dishwasher, and sat down to write a little about how happy, calm, and relaxed I am. Turned the ipod back on, my mom has joined me on the couch. She's reading a book, I'm writing, jamming, and enjoying the simplicity of it all.

I have to admit other times this scenario might drive me up the wall. Sometimes I rather be out and CAN'T and that creates a fowl mood. But when the CHOICE is to stay in; it's a whole different scene.

Sometimes on nights like these, I like to go out on my balcony barefoot and rock myself gently on the ratty chairs my parents have out there. I listen to the sounds of life as it passes by or I watch it through the soundtrack of my ipod. I feel that when things are shitty, if I take a moment to let silence simmer, it sets a different tone in me and things usually get better.

Also, I sometimes can't decide what I like better, the sound of music or complete silence. I love sitting in the dark in my living room completely quiet except for the low hum of the fridge and the air-conditioner. But music paints such a pretty picture.

I love music. I love how there's so much of it, I love how diverse. I love how it transcends time. I listen to the music my parents heard as kids, the music American boys and girls heard BEFORE my parent's time, I listen to what I liked growing up and music I get introduced to now. It's ineffable! Throw a couple Disney soundtracks and whoo! I'm transported. My mother gets upset because I seem to go elsewhere being right in her presence.

Maybe tomorrow this laid-back mood will continue. It might and maybe I'll kick it up a bit by singing. A passion of mine as people who paint pull out easels on Sunday morning and are inspired by a sunrise, or a writer types up a short story or essay. I wish I didn't have crippling stage fright, I may have pursued a career in it. I guess someday it might change, I don't want to get all American Idol on you suddenly. Until then, I'll continue to receive the kind words from those who have had the rare chance to listen to me regail them with my voice. I always like to think that the fairies who gave Princess Aurora her 3 gifts also gave me the gift of song!

Who knows- maybe you could be the next to hear me and tell me what you think!
Since that's unlikely for now, I guess I'll just keep singing in the closet. Literally. It's so refreshing, exhilerating and liberating. That will be my to-do list for tomorrow. "Listen to music and sing."

What could be a better rainy weekend?

Tonight

2009-09-04T21:43:00.005-04:00

In lieu of an evening tainted by inclement weather, I cleaned my room, and in turn cleansed my soul. Nice, huh? It's not exactly what happened but I did rediscover old souvenirs and put a piece to the puzzle that is ME, in place.

My father is a carpenter. He makes a living working with his hands, he's supported his family his whole life, and this back-breaking work is this man's hobby. I find the same is true for me. My hobby is reading and writing and the art of languages (not just English) and teaching it, which is heart-breaking work at times, is a hobby.

As I am in my room tonight, I was merely looking for the second cordless phone that disappeared once we finished the refurbishment and moved to this house. I said I would call someone and my telephone had no service. I decided to look for this in the one place I knew it would not be- under my bed. My father very lovingly made that bed so I would not sleep in my closet as I had been since we had moved. Unfortunately, he's not a bed carpenter. The bed is made of white-painted plywood, is low to the ground, and has 4 drawers (filled with papers I have kept over the years and will attempt to go through another day), with a lid of sorts where my mattress sleeps. I am terrible at literal description so I hope you're following me here. Under the part where I lay my head is nothing but a giant gap, and in that void (before I had shelves), I stowed all my books and that's where I intended to search for the phone.

Did I know I wouldn't find it? Yes. Did I remember everything I would see? No. Sure I remembered there are a lot of dictionaries, grammar books, and a couple of books I could not bring myself to sell back to the university, but I completely forgot that this is where I stored 2 shoe boxes containing memorabilia from what seems like a previous life.

I pushed away the lid (imagine if you will, Indiana Jones) and there was my treasure. Wow! I love books, I found two editions of Charlotte's Web, The Complete Works of Christopher Marlowe, The Anthology of British Literature, The History of French Literature (in French), among many, many others. Some books are for pleasure and some just to make me feel smart. Instantly, my mood changed. Instead of thinking about all the things I have to do or the things I didn't do, or have yet to do, all I could think of is making time for myself to read the books I haven't read. It's so amazing what love of literature can do for a person; instant comfort.

Then, I look at the boxes. Two innocuous boxes sitting there. I pried one open, inside: my graduation tassels, my prom frame (empty- I have no photographic documentation of the evening) and a photo album. Lo and behold, Backstreet Boys concert pictures. BAM! Instant transportation to my freshman year of high school, but I didn't care for these pictures, I keep flipping, and there are pictures of me at the beach with some friends and a brief stint I did as a blue-eyed girl... I looked nice, but it wasn't me.

Continue on to the next box. MOTHERLOAD. JACKPOT. Whatever you want to call it. Here I found 3 albums and 1 diary. My super un-Cuban "quinces," my high school pictures at the ceremony before graduation, at graduation, and other random pictures spanning the ages 13-18. At 26, I feel reasonably young, but taking a look at these pictures made me feel so much older. I don't know, I can see innocence on the very face that is mine; such vulnerability; carefreeness.

Then the diary. I teach language arts, and if I had to be graded on this sucker, I would give me a low C. I read it and I felt like I didn't speak English. The grammar, the spelling, the conventions- all the things I look for now, atrocious! But there was some merit, some of my vocabulary was very advanced. Given it was my FIRST diary ever, and I had it from 6th grade (around the time I moved back from New Jersey to Miami) until 8th grade.

But it wasn't the writing errors that threw me for a loop. It was the content. I wrote silly things, Anne Frank-like things, and boy, was I a NERD! (Still am, but I like to think I have toned it DOWN!) I had forgotten I got a boy suspended for 3 days for spanking me on the rear during PE. Geez! Another entry was how insightful I was about who was my "true friend" and who was acting. I think I documented the time I actually acquired the skill to choose who would be good for me to have in my life and who was not! Incredible.

It also shows how much I love my family. I wrote a lot about my younger brother and how close we were and all the games we played together. I'd jump in a volcano for that guy.

But most of all, I saw how those things shaped who I am today. It's crazy how life passes by and everything little thing makes one who they are. I know I am ever-changing because of simple things like a photograph and a diary.

Isn't it crazy? It definitely blows my mind. It's very bittersweet.

I highly suggest taking a trip down memory lane. I have most indubitably become a better writer, a more worrisome person, a more cynical viewer of the world, a more melancholy person, one who pines, and so many other things. I don't know if I am a better PERSON, but I am different.

I would like to find that carefree girl, that nerd, that adaptable girl and keep her present instead of buried under my pillow and a wooden lid. I think it might give me a different perspective- a different outlook on things. I didn't lose the person I was, I just left her behind.

I did realize, good or bad, I love my life. When it's good it's breath-taking and when it's bad it's paralyzing, but only long enough for introspection and with realization comes wisdom to know how to look for good in crappy situations. It doesn't always come in a moment, but for me, I was able to see a piece of it tonight.

Forgive me for being all over the place, but I feel the way I am writing. Thoughts just keep surfacing and surging in my mind and if I don't get them written, I might lose them, and that would be a waste of a perfectly pensive evening.

Goodnight all.

Broke and Pulled Over... AGAIN

2009-08-16T23:08:00.002-04:00

This blog is the last of the OLD blogs that I am pasting in here. After this one all of them will be current. Here is another officer+me debacle and the story of how I made it home with $16 from Orlando to Miami.

Original Blog Date: Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Alright, first off I want to say, that I LOVE DISNEY and I HEART ALL MY DISNEY FRIENDS new and OLD!

Now with that said, I also want it to be noted I am keeping FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER EVER EVER- a checkbook.

So, on the weekend of the ninth which I originally meant to go to to visit Heather and hang out with the Yoffe (apple of my eye), I had .02 cents in my bank account- yes, that little because I have a million bills and I am a TERRIBLE budgeter.

I moved it to last weekend. I had way more than I thought I would in my checking account and I left to Orlando HAPPY as a CLAM (however that might measure) and had a great time with Heather.

Saturday morning (I decided to check my account versus my checkbook) I look online and I am overdrafted by nearly $400.00 dollars and counting! I flipped out- I think I held it together better because I'm a seasoned overdraft pro and because Heather was right there in the room. I looked in my wallet and I thought I had $18 which would inevitably have to be designated to gas for my trip home- and I could not tell my parents I was broke because like a retard, I lied and said I was at the beach (in Miami) instead- because I knew they wouldn't approve of me making that trip knowing how broke we are currently. This was just a slap in the face and insult to injury in a beautiful little package!

I tried not to let it get to me, and I ended up playing in the parks with Heather as if nothing were wrong, except I kept having the urge to buy things and obviously could not do so- by Fastasmic I was starving and it was breaking my heart to have Heather know- especially because she's on Disney pay...

The reason I overdrafted was because my grandmother loaned me $400 to begin the process of my citizenship before the prices went up and I spent it (after I thought that the money had been lost (because I failed to certify that precious piece of mail) and I used it on another Orlando trip this past August. (Which I had a blast on- but should've declined to go).

The next morning I Mapquested my way home avoiding tolls. I have a little over half a tank of gas, and Mapquest suggest taking US-27, or as I was once told, "Bloody 27." So I'm freaking out but I decide to screw it because at least I am avoiding tolls and saving money. Turns out US-27 has 1 million stop lights! And they all seemed to turn red as I passed them... I mean seriously, there's no-one on the road, I get near the light and boom, it's red! So, every time I had to stop I prayed that my gas would not leave me deserted on this scary ass road. I mean there's one house every 4 million miles and it all seems to say, "TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE."

So I'm looking for budget gas, and I decided against $3.09 in Orlando (A mistake I will come to pay for). Suddenly, I'm seeing there are NO MORE towns/ gas stations ANYWHERE around and I have no idea where I am, and I...GET PULLED OVER!! YAY!

I was doing 85 (out of fear) and it was a 65 zone. Officer Walker of the "It's-my-job-to-pull-over-Elaine" police department of "Elaine-is-targeted-on-all-radar-in-this-town," asks me for my usual speeding credentials which I gladly offer over only after PLEADING (seriously) for him not to give me a ticket.

SO he goes back to his car, drinks something from his mug, comes out to the back of my car, and squats below it and then goes back to his car, and I'm meanwhile with my head on the steering wheel giving the theatrical performance of my young life! The shaking was involuntary but at this point the tears streaming and the mascara running were OSCAR winners. I also did not fail to mention to Officer Walker- that he had my favorite last name in the world.

Alright, now he's been in his car for all eternity- setting me back in time and in gas... HE comes back to my car to tell me, "Please step out of the vehicle." WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!?!? Don't they know not to do that to people who are not regulars on COPS!?!?!

It was to ask him to pleasure him sexually...NOT. Instead however, he told me my tag had been tampered with and was more than likely expired so he was giving me a break on the speeding ticket and gave me a $74.00 ticket for the tag. Cops hate me, it's official. For the rest of the drive home (where I kept speeding- sorry kids- 65 is walking!!) I kept thinking if I get pulled over again, I'm going to pull out the ticket from Officer Walker and tell the new cop, "No Need, THANKS- I've got it covered!!" and be on my way.

So, I finally see a gas station after miles and miles of road and "BEAR X-ing" signs and a DEAD monkey sighting. The gas here is $3.24 and with good reason! I skipped it looking for a cheaper deal, but I ended up passing the only gas station for miles and miles around! Finally, scared and running low on petrol, I hit West Palm- but it's not the West Palm known and loved by all, it's West Palm- "PIONEER Country." I keep praying my gas tank will let me survive till like Ft. Lauderdale, but I get on I-75 and I know I'm nearly home free.

Mind you- a little tidbit to add- for the majority of this ride I had NO CELL PHONE SIGNAL- which in and of itself is PETRIFYING- DON'T TRY IT SOMETIME. So, I got off on Miramar Parkway and paid $16.50 at $3.22 per gal. (should have gotten gas at $3.09) and I got home at 2:30PM that afternoon.

Needless to say it was a frightening experience, but I have LEARNED! I am smarter, better, and stronger for it! But I'm still BROKEst as well.

HAPPY TURKEY DAY ALL!

Update: I vowed that to be the last time I planned spontaneous trips without truly knowing how much money I had. I have been as good as possible with budgeting, but it is not easy. I hate math and I don't keep that ole checkbook anymore. I also know it would have been cheaper to go home on I-95 because stop/start driving wasted more gas. I have been pulled over only once since and I am still paying for it on my insurance.

I am no longer broke but I suspect it's only a matter of time. I lost $100.00 just yesterday. *I found it today though.

When Things Are Good

2009-08-16T22:58:00.002-04:00

You know how David Letterman has a top 10? Here was mine in November 2007

Original Blog Date: Tuesday, November 13, 2007

TEN THINGS I'M PSYCHED ABOUT (Thanks for the idea Anne)

1. Thanksgiving- my first in my new home!! And the first traditional one in a LONG time!

2. HODGEPODGE Thanksgiving party that weekend. Thanks for the title Jackster.

3. Disney on the 16th! Visiting Heather and seeing my new place.... :)

4. Having my wisdom teeth pulled (I know it sounds awful - but hey it's one less worry!!)

5. Talking to Whitney and Anne about possible summer plans to be in Orlando and Miami, and LOS CAYOS!

6. PASSING MY FLORIDA TEACHER CERTIFICATION EXAM!!! I mean when I was in that testing room and the guy next to me told me he'd taken it 9 TIMES! CONFIDENT:SHATTERED! FACT! But I passed ANYWAY! TAKE THAT LOSER GUY! I mean I feel bad for him, but really. NO need to bum me out DUDE!

7. MY Bedroom and that fact that I actually LIVE in it now! Although it's probably going to be short-lived but I mean I would've hated saying, "Yea, I never lived in MY OWN Bedroom, before I moved to Orlando!"

8. NOT OVERDRAFTING- In a world where purchases are so often made without sufficient funds, I'm proud to say, I am KEEPING a checkbook, and it's GOING A-OK.

9. MY GREAT SUPPORTIVE FAMILY! Who no matter what believes in me, and feels so great to have in my life as the once constant no matter what comes.

10. My friends, who are so great, whenever I need them or want them, they're there. They love me even when I'm broke, or in a bummed mood. Through the good and bad, and the ugly.

Life it's really great- even when it's bad- but right now it's pretty good. By right now, I mean, AU JOURD'HUI.

Update: Thanksgiving was beautiful, minus a minor event with the association meeting during my Macy's T-Day Parade.

HodgePodge party never went down, but it's OK. I still live in said bedroom however plans to move to Orlando are always playing in my mind. It's been a long time since my days of overdraft, but it happens occasionally, it's still a work in progress. My family is still great. Like anyone else we have ups and downs but during the holidays we're fantastic. My friends also have highs and lows, but there's good in each of them. Life is great now too, which I can never take for granted.

Sense of Direction: How I Miss Thee

2009-08-16T22:35:00.003-04:00

This Blog is pretty self explanatory. I get lost. OFTEN.

Original Blog Date: Thursday, October, 28, 2007

Who would've known? Some people are born without a sense of direction, but they can still read a compass and have a clue. Me? Not so simple. I couldn't get a sense of direction if I got it through an IV!

So yesterday, I had a workshop in Margate to go to and mistake 1 was NOT printing out the MAPQUEST Directions when I had the chance. I already know I get lost easily, what made me believe I could pioneer my way to this place?

I left work early (for those in the know- this was a hassle and a half) and I headed on my way. TRAFFIC WAS A BIZNATCH! I was on the phone with Emory for a while before he went to class we discussed the negative effects of Venezuelan government; interesting debate.

I get on the highway after years of inching my way through the streets and it's JAMMED! I need to be at this place at 6PM I have no idea how to get there and I'm debating Chavez...who do I think I am MERLIN?

So I'm driving, so slowly I'm watching evolution occurring around me. I get to a place. At 6PM. The nice security guard tells me she doesn't know what I'm looking for but there are classrooms all down the way, I can search for where I'm supposed to be. Fantastic. I search ALL the classrooms and NOTHING. I go back to her she tells me she's new and to talk to some old lady. After 2 hours of searching (typing with extra long red nails and using only her index finger) she asks me if I know the address and I tell her and she's like "You're in the wrong building!" YOU need to head WEST... "WEST" what a concept- too bad I have NO IDEA where "WEST" is unless I'm staring at a map of the US and I can see WEST =CALIFORNIA... I don't know what's "WEST" from where I'm standing. I never have, and I have lost all hope that I ever will.

So, I act like I knew what she was saying and left. I was 30 minutes late to this thing now so I contemplated making a U-ey and going home. But something told me to try and find the place, not to give up. I ended up following the road until it ended and the place was nowhere to be found I ended up in a GORGEOUS housing development. I turned around and headed straight back to the highway. Now all I have to do is head south (which is funny I know that much and yet I can't figure out "WEST") so I got on the interstate south. Now, I know how to get home from other places, but not from the interstate. I usually get off of it near my old house (very out of the way) and then climb up the streets and go home. But yesterday since I was little-miss-risk-taker, I decide to look for the correct way home. I get off of I-95 and get on 826, my address says W so I took 826W. Smart move right? OK.

I live on what's KNOWN AS 4AVE but it REALLY something else... I'll get to that in a second because there's where I ROYALLY FRIGGIN' BLEW IT! I see on 826W 12th AVE, and I live on fourth so I think W means the avenues are decreasing I should be the next exit.

Next exit 17th/22nd AVE... NOT IT! I get off to turn around, but when I get off the only thing to get back on is the FLORIDA TURNPIKE and that was going to head for Orlando and that's not where I was headed as much as I would've wanted to! SO I decided, "OK, you live off 1** ST and 4AVE, go decreasing in STREETS and then turn left or right on 17th to look for 4th...rational thought right?

Well I head one way, and on 157 there's a curb only to the right.... I turn around and decide, "OK, look for 4th avenue first then go down streets. make a left...22nd ave...which when I got off of the 826 was to my right but whatever... so then I turn around and I get to 8th ave...

1 word described 8th AVE : DODGY!!!! OOH BOY- THAT'S THE PLACE YOU GO WHEN YOU WANT TO DUMP YOUR CAR AND CLAIM IT'S BEEN STOLEN FOR INSURANCE MONEY! It's SCARY! It's nearly 8PM now and I am S-C-A-R-E-D... so I turn around in a giant never-ending circle, and SOMEHOW, someway, I FIND the Turnpike thing again. I say fuck it! And I hop on, then I see...to 826E.. I think if west was increasing East will be decreasing... WRONG!!

Elaine is now Downtown by the beach! What's wrong with ME?!?!?!? I'm flipping out, so I decide I'm getting back on I-95 although my only option here is N which is where I came from. So, I say, I'm just going to start ALL over.

Here's goes nothing. I get on I-95 N. Then I get off on the next available exit to get back on I-95 S. OF COURSE NORMALLY, when someone gets off a highway exit and wants to get back on in the opposite direction for the MOST part you make a left and then the next left. Well, not where Elaine got off... NO it was a right. But Elaine made a left.... and there wasn't a U-Turn for like a mile... (I'm running low on gas here)...
I make said U-turn nearly get on I-95 N and then realize fatal mistake and get back on Southbound. GREAT FANTASTIC.

At this point I have GIVEN up and I call my father... HE'S SLEEPING and here I am coming up on the exit and I don't know where to go.."QUICK WAKE HIM! It's AN EMERGENCY!" I tell my mother. She wakes my brother (the guy who's got a great sense of direction- my guess is he took his share plus mine) and I tell him, he tells me HERE'S THE KICKER KIDS!!! I am supposed to get off on 57AVE off of 826W.... 4th AVE is only 4th AVE in HIALEAH (the shittiest CITY EVER!!!) and it's really 57th AVE to the REST OF MIAMI!!!! SO I got off there and suddenly birds chirped, the clouds disappeared, and a rainbow erupted through the sky and shined through my car.

Time of ARRIVAL at home: 8:15PM.

NEVER AGAIN PEOPLE. I can smell the GPS navigation system on Christmas morning!! I really can.

Who can live like this??? I got home crying of the excitement to know I survived my ordeal! I mean I could've been killed on the back street of 8th AVE... I don't have a friggin' clue where I was!

Seriously.

Update: You'll be so happy to know, I have a Garmin GPS system now and I named her Gigi, she's really lovely. I did not receive her Christmas morning instead I stole her from my father's business, as he originally bought it for deliveries. Tough! I need it more. My dad is the human GPS. Gigi has been great to me, she got me through tough times in Orlando, got me to Virginia, Texas, and Oklahoma, she's a little outdated but I promise to buy the latest maps as soon as possible.

Want to guess how many times a trip I hear Gigi say, "recalculating"?

Between You, Me, and the Lamp Post

2009-08-16T22:01:00.002-04:00

This blog makes me laugh now, but I was stupefied when it originally happened. It was shocking.

Original Blog Date: Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Oh Sexual Harassment, how you creep up out of nowhere, and you rear your ugly head at the worst possible time!

Here I am minding my business at work, being nice and sweet to everyone. Along comes a RETIRED engineer, who I am nice to, not more or less nice to him than anyone else at the office. HE doesn't work here anymore but he did for years and he's a friend to these people. Every time he came he would always tell me how pretty I am, which I'm used to from everyone (male or female) at the office because I'm the baby. He would always ask me why I didn't wear make up and how that would make me so much more beautiful. (SHOULD HAVE read the signs)

Last week, TO GET HIM OFF MY BACK, I wore a little Chapstick. He just went on and on about how beautiful I am, and how it brings out my great smile... Then he asks me if I have a boyfriend, to which I was honest, and he said, "Oh, I just figured that maybe your boyfriend had asked you not to wear make-up." SMOOTH HUH? Then before he leave he sits in front of me and asks, "Can you keep a secret?" (LESSON LEARNED: ALWAYS SAY NO!) I told him "SURE!" thinking he was going to burst out with a story about the office, one of the employees, or an embarrassing episode from his times here, or something a retired person does to relax, or some wise old guy advice. He tells me he'll tell me the following week.

Fast forward to yesterday. He shows up at the office, same old, same OLD... I go into one of the engineer's office (which is empty) to compare some paperwork and toss the duplicates, when in walks the retiree after me and asks again, if I can keep a secret. I again affirm, and then he tells me, "Well, Elaine, I think you're a wonderful girl, and I would like to take you out to lunch Saturday to a place I know you'll just love at 11AM."

INSERT GIANT GASP HERE!

I didn't know what to say, damn me and my respectful cowardice... I AGREED! HE asked me to write my address and my cell phone number on a paper for him and he would come get me Saturday and I followed suit. I left off my apartment number because he wasn't going to need it, and as he's leaving, he reads the paper and says "What's your apartment number? I'm an engineer I need to know every detail." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! But here's the kicker, as he leaves, he looks over at the other's to make sure they can't overhear and says, "Now remember, this is between you, me and the lamp post."

Well, I held up my end, and didn't say anything to anyone at work, which I believe is the right/wrong thing to do, but I made DAMN sure, my family, and ALL of my friends knew, in case Elaine went missing never to be heard from again on Saturday.... I had a super GIANT headache, and I was feeling awful the whole rest of the day, and so I took his cell number from the Rolodex, and gathered all my bearings, and I called him last night...

I told him I was very sorry but I had to cancel because I felt uncomfortable with "keeping a secret" and because I would rather our relationship stay at the office. I told him inviting me out was a nice gesture, but completely unnecessary. HE seemed to take it well, and NOW I just have to sit and wait, to make sure he doesn't get upset and spread rumors about this at work, or show up at my house and kill me. But I honestly am giving him the benefit of the doubt (now that it's over) that his intentions were honorable, but still a little inappropriate.

WHEW! I'm glad I dodged that bullet.

Update: I am so grateful this experience is behind me, this man could be my grandfather. I was also grateful I was able to discuss this with my parents who were supportive and not judgmental of any of the parties involved. I did find out later, he is a bit of a dirty old man. Towards my last days at the office, I recounted my tale of woe to a co-worker or two. Both women said the same, that he had done it before. Thank goodness, for a moment I thought by negating the invite that he would retaliate by telling my bosses I hit on him, which would obviously be fatal because they there lifelong buddies and I was just a lowly assistant.

Speed Racer, Thy Name is Elaine

2009-08-16T21:51:00.002-04:00

In my defense, I can't help it.

Original Blog Date: Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Speeding- seriously, how dangerous can it be if everyone is doing it uniformly- if we're all going 100 how can it be unsafe? Flippin' A!

And seriously WHY ME?!

TICKET NUMERO UNO: Driving back from the KEYS- insert in car, one British kid, one Texan, and one Chi-town "raibow."

Clocked at 63 in a 35- who knew the Keys have 900 different speed friggin' limits!? DAMN IT! $200-some odd smackers Thank you Seargant Fuck-Me!

Yesterday 1 in the AM: NO ONE IS ON THE FRIGGIN' ROAD! THERE'S A MINI GOING DOUBLE WHAT I'M DOING- A MERE 80... Come on I'm practically walking this bitch. LIGHTS! PANIC! Action.

Officer:"I clocked you at 88."

Me: "Are you kidding, I was definitely NOT doing more than 80 on this curb, and if I'd slowed down you woulda bit me in the ass."

Officer: "No, I was doing 110 and I still couldn't catch up to you."

Me: "In all honesty, I definitely think you clocked the dude before me."

Officer:"No, I followed you...you were weaving." (THAT'S A LIE)

Whatever....

INCREDIBLE! I mean DAMN IT!!!

The best part of all this was when the guy pulls me over I start making deals with God... after watching Evan Almighty, and telling my friend how I don't have faith. GOOD TIMES.

SO now I have like over $400.00 in tickets, and I feel that it's either a sign I'm going to croak in a car accident or that cops are just trying to give ticket's to Mitsubishi drivers...It's making Me-SO-Bitchy!!!

Alright, so the moral of the story here, kids, is, go the speed limit.

I even told the cop that I thought the speed limit seemed to be more like a suggestion- no one cared...

Officer: "Yea, I know, like right now, I'm writing you up and these people are going like 80 but I don't care about them." (Thanks Lieutenant Lucky-Straw!)

Yea, tickets blow, so I decide let's try this old Speed limit thing. Maybe senior citizens know something I don't. SO I TRY going at 35 when I was at the Keys (I could've ran alongside it and passed it)... then last night I tried again (practice must make perfect) started out at 55 then before I knew it I was going 70... Well, can you believe it, some guy passed me and gave me the get-off-the-road-slow-poke face!

I mean in order to appease him I would've had to go like 90....The best part is that I go slower in my new car than I used to in my old car.... I've always driven 90-100+ and now I go 80 or less and it's like every cop in the world has their damn radar gun pointed at me...

WILL I EVER LEARN?

Update: Since then, I continue to speed, but I certainly try not to a lot more than before. I recently got pulled over during the summer on a drive up to stay with a friend in Orlando. The cop said, "You weren't the only one speeding, there were two other cars, a Jeep, and another SUV, you were just the one who pulled over fastest!" Guess I did a different sort of speeding, but no ticket this time! YAY!

My First Stirrings to Become a Teacher

2009-08-16T21:44:00.004-04:00

I know it might seem odd when you read the post because I'm still talking about my car and cell phone but notice carefully how I mention I want to change from a job to a career. It will literally be the first time I voiced my opinions about changing jobs, however, I don't think teaching was in the cards just yet.

Original Blog Date: Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Damn, I've been a little blog crazy lately.

So, for those of you who read these suckers and have been with me through all these trial and tribulations. Here is the latest.

As of yesterday at 7PM, I have my NEXTEL phone service back- same number kids! Only thing is I have to wait til the 3rd of July to ditch them and go to some other carrier. For all I went through, I guess this isn't so bad.

Car- I was so excited to have paid off the old hunk-of-junk but I never thought I'd actually have to junk it, at least not so SOON! I think the car was paid off for like 10 minutes and then it broke down FOREVER. SO yesterday, Daddy (aka my GOD) went out to Carmax and put a used car under his name for me to pay for 6 YEARS! Let's hope and pray I pay it off soon.My dad returned the car not even 24 hours later and I got a new car from some unnamed dealer, since I wasn't a party to the shopping experience.

Side note: I like my job, but I am starting to think about going somewhere else. Seriously, this is NOT what I went to college for, and even though, I like it here A LOT, it's tri-fold better than my last job- except for some people who I miss from over there... it's time for bigger, better. I know there are positions out there, and here I come to snatch one up. Maybe not next week, but soon.

So there it is, I have a car and a phone, and all is well with the world once again... I was telling a friend yesterday, "I can't believe what a low threshold of misery I have." I mean people go all their lives without cell phones or cars, and I go two days without them and I literally got SICK. I had a fever yesterday that was through the flippin' roof! I was convulsing. I have a terrible, horrible, painful cough, and it came out of NOWHERE- I strongly believe that the stress lowered my immunity, and I caught a flu. Incredible huh?

But it doesn't matter, my girls are getting here Friday, we're going to the Keys WHETHER IT KILLS ME OR NOT! Hell or high water, I don't care about my health, the weather, the money, NOTHING. I am determined to have a FANTASTIC time, I will not sit around all weekend playing board games with them!- Although, I'm sure there'll be a Taboo match or two...

So that's that. LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!

Leave Nothing to Chance

2009-08-16T21:30:00.002-04:00

This blog is a bit of a bummer, but truth be told I'm glad it's behind me and now I can sit back, reminisce about it, think, "Damn, this was not so bad." I'll write the update here. I got everything resolved with the cellphones (didn't have to pay a dime), thanks to some woman named Laura, who did some digging for me over at Nextel, bless her. Not even a day after I lost Mazda 626 my dad bought a Kia something or other which we returned the next day and my brother picked me up later in my new-used Mitsubishi Galant who I fondly call Gary. He's great to me, and I in turn definitely try to be great to him.

Original Blog Date: Monday, June 4, 2007

It's got nothing to do with LUCK.

Because if there were such a thing, I would be seriously lacking.

I'm not ungrateful. I have AMAZING Family, and GREAT friends.

However, I feel like all odds are against me. This week. So, I'm super excited about my friends coming this weekend, I have everything all planned out and then BAM. BOOM. KA-POW!

I mean to switch from Nextel to TMobile on the 15th of July- well, TMobile disconnects my phone the 1st of June- I'm not paying the cancellation fee from Nextel, because I DIDN'T AUTHORIZE the damn change, but Nextel will add an additional MONTH of Service for 120 smackers in order to reconnect my line, so I'm NEITHER HERE NOR THERE! Except, I am without ANY TYPE OF COMMUNICATION THROUGH ANYTHING! Very, very, disconcerting.

Moving on, we all recall my CAR DILEMMA! The drama that is... well, yesterday, I went to the Alehouse and after dropping off my best friend, his parting words were, "you should get that oil changed," which we all knew really meant, "your car is fucked" I remember for as long as I have driven him, he's been telling me I need a new car...and we were just talking about his odds of being correct- OBVIOUSLY another point in his mother flippin' favor!

Well, it's 1 AM and I'm on the highway going home, with my rattly car and my disconnected cell phone... The car breaks down on the highway. I get towed ($85-that I would've had for when my friends visit) then I missed work today, to take the car to the mechanic, and then he tells me the car is a loss... the engine is stuck and the gears wont move, and that the car is going to be more expensive to fix than what it ended up costing. So he told me to sell it. SO, now I have no car and 300 bucks in my pocket. I don't know what to do with myself. I need a car and PRONTO, and of course since I have $00.00 savings, I can buy- I don't know what, but probably not even a bus pass.

I'm most angry because I thought I was finally moving ahead. I was meant to be moving forward and getting out of debt, and now I'm being sucked back! Well, maybe it's a blessing REALLY, REALLY well disguised!

I'm not going to let this hold me back, this isn't the end of me. I'll eventually have my cell back, and I'll eventually have a car. It just doesn't feel like there's an end in sight to all these terrible odds. I know there's a reason for this, and I don't even want to know why, but it's happened and now I have to make the best of it.

Alright, enough of this hippie spiritual talk, I'm just bummed out is all, but I always keep a positive outlook, it's definitely the way to be. F-CARS AND PHONES and our attachment to the two.

Craig

2009-08-16T21:26:00.002-04:00

This Blog I wrote after my dad's business partner and super close family friend, Craig C. passed away. It was a very big blow for my family, he was just 28 and he is still missed everyday.

Original Blog Date: September 21, 2005

I recently lost someone very close to me. I am at a loss for mental activity. I have never been through something so devastating, because it not only changed the course of the person's life but also the course of mine. I miss him because I took him for granted and I always thought he'd be around. Without him now a lot more worries surface, that I don't know how to face. I know I'll be alright if I take things one day at a time. It's unbelievable how from one minute to the next your whole life can change. One thing I know now is that life is certainly not promised and you can't be certain of anything in life except death. I know he is now in a better place, and he deserves his rest after all he went through. I miss him though and I wish I could turn back time and make things go back to normal. But reality is hard and it jolts be back like a thousand volts. I feel very wishy washy lately but I hope to be back to my old self soon, crying only gets you brief release. I have to make peace with my new situation and the fact that he is never coming back and only hope that one day...

Ode To My Cellphone

2009-08-16T21:09:00.007-04:00

This blog is just to recap a few of the many times I have had phone issues (mainly losing it) and always managing to find it.

Original Post Date: Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Alright gang!I just wanted to take a minute and write a little "thank you" to my flippin' phone, man!I mean how many times have I lost it? How many different models have I lost? Seriously, those who know can recount quite a few times, restaurants, cars, houses, WALT DISNEY WORLD (come on- who loses their phone there and gets it back? Seriously.), A couple weeks ago at Winn Dixie, and just last Friday at Spirits Night Club at the Hardrock.FOUND... Every. Time. I have had the telephone number since FOREVER, and it's never failed to make it's way back to me... I know I'm probably jinxing it with this blog, but what are the damn odds people?!My sunglasses don't come back to me! I'm not gonna stroll down the shore of the beach and say, "there you are sunglasses!" NO! That's just not going to occur, and yet, my PHONE! Oh, heavenly little apparatus that "does what it Do!"And this latest model, it's been through so much with me, and it is still hanging in there, the little guy. I think it's biggest loss was the ability to radio- since after all isn't that the POINT of Nextel phones?But, I'm grateful for whatever capabilities this little sucker has left. Besides my plan ends in a couple weeks (or is it days?) and then I have to choose a new phone and a new plan... but the SIM card- that sucker's been the same-sizzle forever-izzle!!!!!Well, that's all I have to say about my little guy-Thanks phone- keep it tight!

Update: The phone no longer exists, I am very happy with TMobile now, and I have lost my phone since, and still recuperated it. It's the one thing in life that shouldn't be dependable, and yet, it is. For which I continue to be grateful.

Sunglasses: A Necessity and Yet Also a Malady

2009-08-16T20:56:00.004-04:00

During my College Program I am sad to report that I must have spent most of my paychecks buying sunglasses. I worked outside in the sun, Disney has regulation on what kind we can wear in front of guests, and as you'll read I lost or broke the majority of them. I am happy to report that in late 2007 or so, I bought 2 pairs at 2 for $20.00 and they are still to this day in tact. It might have been something in the Orlando air.

Original Blog Date: Monday, May 14, 2007

A moment of silence.

ALRIGHT KIDS! I lost my FAVORITE SUNGLASSES (because they're always my favorite when I lose them) I don't know where, or how, but they are, as N'Sync would sing, "GONE!" and I miss them oh-so-terribly as I am prone to headaches due to chronic squinting! And now the search is on, it's time to find me a new FAVORITE Pair! Why is it that I lose Sunglasses so EASILY? I think I must've spent my entire final Disney paychecks on Sunglasses and NOT one pair exists....
My favorite story was when they were smacked clear off my face and into the ocean by a giant wave at Cocoa Beach, it was as if the sea was saying, NO, BITCH you can't HAVE THESE! So, in conclusion, I think everyone should own a cat.

Clarification: I would like to apologize or rather clarify the ending to this anecdote. I was not attempting to be all Gertrude Stein, but really, it was more of a shout-out to my friend Raul who told me in a communications class during speeches, one particular student gave a rather rousing speech only to conclude with the final thought of cat owning.

It went a little like this:

"Have you ever heard of Grand Theft Auto? This game is stock full of prostitution, violent rage, theft, and other horrors. So in conclusion, I think everyone should own a cat."

- Unknown

My Birthday Bummer Weekend 2007

2009-08-16T20:37:00.005-04:00

This blog speaks for itself. It's just a recap of the weekend of my 24th birthday. Needless to say after this I needed a stiff drink.

Original Blog Date: Tuesday, January 30, 2007

So how's this for a sour weekend before my birthday!?!?

Friday: On my lunch break I went to cash my check (GOOD TIMES) and left car keys locked in car with car on! FANTASTIC! Asked a police officer for help and he said the county took away their Jimmy's... Awesome... I WAITED 1 HOUR and some-odd in the bank waiting for a Locksmith (super expensive-o and a complete waste!), when a young man at the bank offered to try to pry open my car. Different cop sees us STRUGGLIN' and comes over and says the most ironic phrase in the history of desperate times, "want me to open that for you in like 2 MINUTES?" My reply, "Yes, an HOUR ago!" Good news is I saved a shitload of money by switching to Geico (just kidding) but I did save on the aforementioned locksmith :) Then Friday evening- I get A FRANTIC phone call that a mutual friend of mine is in the hospital (thank goodness I called his girlfriend for a calmer account of the situation) turns out my buddy's gonna make it after all! Just like Mary Tyler Moore!

Saturday: uneventful (my fault- sorry to my friend Jackie, but more sorry for me, it's my birthday weekend for crying out loud!)

Sunday: Got the new kitchen in the new apartment installed (FABULOUS and GORGEOUS!) DOWNSIDE ~ Some fucker hit my car when doing some maneuver he/she OBVIOUSLY did not know how to do! Unhinged my left side-view mirror DAMN YOU!

Monday: APOCALYPSE NOW... My car breaks down, (battery/alternator/ bad maintenance due to owner being a girl, me, who knows squat about cars except how to speed!), dies (the car not the girl) in the middle of HELL-A-LEAH, some tow truck driver comes to "rescue" aka sexually harass girl while towing car to safety... then takes girl to an ATM machine whereby I am supposed to cough up a mere $55 smackers for towing my insignificant car 20 blocks- HONESTLY! So I go to said ATM and get 60 beans. I pay the douche, and he says he doesn't have the 5 bananas to pay me back (ARE YOU FRIGGIN' KIDDING ME?!?!?) He's like is $4 OK? AND NEVER HANDED ME THE MULA... Yea it's OK- SCHMUCK. Finally home after said ordeal...Get home quick fast to renew AAA membership so this Bullshit does not happen again.... but... where's my... ATM machine? OH NO!! Mother-of-pearl, I flippin' left my damn ATM card in the dinkin' machine, I return and lo-and-behold it's not there anymore!

Tuesday: Woke up crazy early to get a ride to work from el BROVA-man. On the way... I forgot my dress shoes... return trip 1. Get to work. Later, on my lunch break, 900 missed calls later... 1 Voicemail from the bro, "ELAINE HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GET THE CAR FIXED IF YOU HAVE THE CAR KEYS!" Mistake. OOPS, I am officially a tard.

Wednesday (el futuro)- my birthday... no car, no cash, no fun. PRICELESS.The end...or is it? Could my luck get possibly worse or is there really nowhere to go but up from here? (I've got to say, all in all, I'm optimistic- it has to get better now right?) No worries- it's just life. I'm gonna make the best of it, even when it's kickin' me so hard it's knockin' the wind out of me. ::Insert silver lining here::

For now, that's all kiddies.

Update: Honestly, I can't remember how that birthday went... I'm sure I resisted against any celebrating. But it's these kinds of things you have got to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and just say yes, I can... as Eeyore would say.

'Tis a SMALL World After All

2009-08-16T20:22:00.006-04:00

This one was about the roommates I originally had at Chatham on the Disney Program and how you never know who you'll meet.

Original Blog Date: Tuesday June 13, 2006

I went out with an Aladdin co-worker and her friends one night to have a good time and drink, and on our way home we decide to eat at Whaddaburger...while waiting for our delicious meal Rachelle starts to talk about her roommates and how they suck ass! And so knowing where she lives but not knowing the apartment number I ask her and it turns out she lives in my old apartment! I swear It's a Small World sounds cliche but it holds such F-in truth! Turns out I am the infamous "ELAINE" who moved out and her and the other normal roommate have been wanting to meet me to see what kind of person I was etc., etc. It was fabulous! We just kept agreeing on how they girls were trolls and nasty, and how we don't like to call people ugly but in this case there was no way around it...blah blah blah...AWESOME. Just goes to show...everything I wrote in that old Roommate blog was and is TRUE...Turns out the Recluse (Roommate #1) got sent home because she broke a leg but the other two...the booger-eater and the pill-popper are still hanging tough! Either way I was wishing I would meet the poor girl that took my place in that Hell-hole and I always prayed it would be someone as uncool as them so they wouldn't suffer as I did but oh, no. Life was ill-fated for Rachelle and Molly...but it's OK; they know there's support out there for them and they have each other. If it wasn't for meeting my coworker Jennie I would still be wondering who moved into 24303.

P.S. Rachelle said that I had like LOADS of Mail there...and those bitches never FORWARDED it to ME! RUDE!

What Have I Done?

2009-08-15T21:29:00.007-04:00

This too is a pretty old blog. It's in memory of my long gone Mazda 626. Here's the story of how I made her terminal.

Original Blog Date: Monday, November 28, 2005

I am dropping off a friend (the first time I've ever not been driven by her) and I notice my car is over heating...and by that I mean I noticed the little lever was pointed to H....so I turned off the car and asked her for water and something to open the cap with....She (sweet unknowing child) goes to get the hose and I walkie-talkie the little runt I fondly know as my brother, on my Nextel CRAP Phone!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, he's poured water in the radiator thingy before so I asked him (so as not to alarm my rents at this time of night) I ask him "there are two tanks; BLACK or WHITE?" he says "...Black long strip..." I understood that as the black tank...he also added it would be best to pour antifreeze rather than water...SO I check my trunk and I got me some ANTIFREEZE...(which will be a problem later)...and I uncap the BLACK tank...........I pour the antifreeze...having recently watched my father pour water into someone else's radiator thing-a-majig, I realize it was not full...SO I radio the runt AGAIN and he agrees it should be full to the brim (his sorry ass is out somewhere thinking I had followed his damn directions correctly) so my friend and I start pouring water from the hose into this tank and after what seems like an era...we finally got it to pour over... so we cap it and I go to start the car and leave when we hear the car sound like it's gargling Scope! I jumped out of the car and left it running! Then we see that BLACK water is coming out of my car so I think (as retardedly as possible) BURNT WATER! Houston we have a PROBLEM! Well, turns out, for those of you who already know where this shit is going, I filled my engine with water and antifreeze and ran it through the entire system for like 2 minutes!!!!!!!! Needless to say I was towed and my engine is likely to be a total loss! Is this a sign that I'm not supposed to go away to Orlando? I hope not... Anyway, funny story but truly traumatizing....I know where the water goes now!

A BlogBlast from the PAST!

2009-08-15T21:03:00.006-04:00

I originally wrote this sucker when I was living in Orlando on the Disney College Program. This goes to show not everything goes as planned in a new living situation. Read after the blog for the update.
Original Blog Date: January 13, 2006

I don't live there anymore so I can finally reveal the awful truth~! I despised my old roommates! I moved to Orlando on the Disney College Program and I was moved into the beautiful Chatham Square, everything was beautiful, my address my driveway, my room, my view, etc. UNFORTUNATELY, I had the most not beautiful roommates. I will break it down for you... I will leave their names out for obvious reasons...
Roommate 1: Looked like a mouse, had peach fuzz on her face, thought she was Asian (because she literally wore a karate jumpsuit with her black belt, cooked food from Epcot Japan and never cleaned up after herself was a complete slob.... she told me it was what happened when 4 people live together (FYI, I live with more people now and the house isn't messy) She didn't have friends from the ages of 5-15 (hello! SOCIAL skills lacking severely!) And she thought she knew everything about religion and civilization- she was smart no denying it but she was condescending as shit! She talked down to everyone in the house and she was actually the shortest one there. She seemed like she was irritated ALL the time I felt like she was PMS-ing eternally! She was always trying to be really practical and really helpful but it was just annoying and condescending...WE ARE ALL ADULTS FOOL!
Roommate 2: Ate her boogers...'nuff said. I kid you not. Actually, she was the messiest of all. She would eat with her mouth open, drop jelly on her clothes or on the floor and not clean it up. She would leave cans open everywhere, and never throw out trash let alone put anything in it, never washed anything. She made me sick just looking at how dirty she was. Super sweet down home girl, had a tragic life but that didn't excuse the nastiness. She drove slower than a bus...LITERALLY. Made me carsick (and I am not a carsick-y person) It was awful, dumb as a doornail... said things like "Hi-dee-ho!" WHOA!
Roommate 3: She was the straw that broke the camel's back. The reason I finally moved out. She was a monster, this girl was surgically altered! And I don't mean silicon breasts and lipo, I mean corrective surgery- her brother was cute though -too bad. She was also condescending. See a pattern. Went to sleep at 8pm and woke up at the crack of friggin' dawn to take medication- it looked like we had opened a CVS pharmacy in the apartment! She would turn the heater up to 80 and expect me not to melt away. So I would change the heater to 60 when she wasn't looking and she would retaliate and bring it back up so I would open my window (which is my right because I payed the same amount of friggin' rent and I could do as I liked.) One night I actually heard her say CLEARLY in her sleep" "IF YOU MESS WITH THE AIR AGAIN, I WILL KILL YOU" now those are some strong WORDS huh? Well anyway, one night after I got home from work and was out of the shower, she came up to me and told me if I opened the window she would have me kicked out and she would close the window if I opened it "because quite frankly you're making me sick" (Due to the window opening, I have like pneumonia or bronchitis over here!) But she also told me that she and the other two had gone to put in a complaint about me. There. That was all.
ALL I wanted to do since I got there was get rid of these girls from my life, I was so upset I would have to live with them till AUGUST, but I didn't want to hurt their feelings! AREN'T I A FUCKING SAINT!? Well, after the big ugly bitches ranted and raved I packed ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of my belongings as I cried, cussed at my parents on the phone, was IRATE, had my blood pressure through the roof, and was melting because the heater was at an astounding 1,000,000 degrees. Then I went to sleep at 2:30 AM and woke up at six to wait for the bus to take me to find out about the complaint and there was none (it was all a LIE) and I asked to be moved and they (the housing counselors) said it would take 2-3 weeks! HELL NO! They said they could expedite the move if we had counseling. So some lady came out and tried to talk me out of it, while someone called the roommates over. I only told her about that night and how I have never really felt comfortable there and she was telling me to keep trying what if things got worse etc. etc. Then she went to talk to the other girls (if you can call them that) and then she came back out with notes and shit (so clearly they gave her an earful about me-which I am grateful for...) and then the lady filled out a request form for me to be moved that same day, and GOD KNOWS I WAS JUMPING FOR JOY!!
Unfortunately, I was moved to another apartment complex, which is a little shabby, but the ROOMMATES! OH, THESE FOLKS KICK the other MONSTERS'S ASSES! I am so grateful to be with them, the sweetest, altruistic, smart, nice, NORMAL and pretty girls!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!
Update: Yes, that was the story of my tribulations the first month of my life in Orlando. I should've known things were going to be awful when Roommate #1 told me her name was Kimberly but never to call her that- she wanted to go by Chris. Right.
Then she told my brother and I how she googled how many people in her town had her exact name and how many of those people had the same birthday as her also.
Roommate #2. ATE HER BOOGERS- Hideeho's name was something forgettable. I remember her perfectly but the name doesn't come to mind.
Roommate #3, was a disaster and a half. The surgery she had had was to correct one of North Carolina's worst cases of under bite (her mother told me).
I'm so glad I left there. But it wasn't all peaches after I moved to the new place. I'll write a blog about life in 3905 at Vista Way, or Vista Lay as it was named by PLAYBOY magazine.