I AM...

A Statistic. I can't believe it but it's true. As I live and breathe and manage through this debilitating migraine of stress; I am going to recount how I became the lead character in every one of the forwards every girl has ever received.

My father asked me to go pump gas for him (stop me if you've heard this) and gave me his debit card which I tossed in my wallet and left the house.

I arrived at a local BP gas station and pulled the card from my wallet, threw the wallet in the cup holder and got out to swipe the card.

I leaned against the car and I felt it move, I see a car behind me and I thought for a split second they burgled me but then hesitated and thought they'd probably hit my dad's car. I round over to the passenger side and sure enough the door looks like it was closed improperly and I open it and VOILA! My WALLET IS GONE!

I didn't get a good look at the car, just a charcoal sporty mazda, or nissan. I immediately call 911. I'm livid with myself. WHY DIDN'T I LOCK THE GOD DAMN DOORS!

The cop arrives and she asks to see the video footage, I watched in SHOCK as the thieves (who I wish nothing but future harm and explosive diarrhea, and cancer on them and their families) circled my car not once, not twice, but thrice! Before they actually lined up beside me and took my wallet. I mean it was a matter of a minute or two, and I didn't notice until the very end!

I cannot unsee these images. I feel like if in the video I would just turn around, I could stop them. Or if she played it from the beginning video Elaine would lock the doors.

Not only did they steal my license and my debit cards, they stole my social security. The end all be all. I strongly believe that our fingerprints should be our social security. If someone does like on the tv shows and the spy movies and clones them, I'll worry about it then but a friggin' 9 digit number that is now in someone else's possession? Too easy.

As I called one of the debit cards (I have 2, one I use and one that has been out of service because there are 0.04 cents in the account), the one with 4 cents reports that I used it already halfway on the other side of town! I couldn't believe it!
Who am I angriest at? Myself. I knew better, what was I thinking? Not just the doors, but I know better than to carry around my social.

Another thing I noticed in the short amount of time it took for my world to crumble. When you call your banks to cancel cards they ask you for ALL the information that you regularly carry in your wallet (except for the social) but they have everything else. In my case, if they wanted to counter my calls to the bank with calls of their own -- it would be CAKE.
Name? Done.
Address? Done.
Social? Done.

They don't ask those "security questions" unless you've forgotten something you ask them to go that far...

I feel so utterly helpless. Alone in my misery. Holiday ruined.

I feel like they can show up at my door any minute.

What makes it worse is that a couple of people have said, "well, be thankful you're ok." Really, I know that's the truth, but c'mon! I'm not particularly digging the fact that for the rest of my life, I'm going to be scrutinized for everything I do in case a FALSE me is trying to get away with something. Boy did I give some assholes a FANTASTIC Christmas gift!

Yes, I am grateful that I am alive, I wasn't harmed any physical way except for being totally mind-fucked and having a subsequent headache for the rest of my days.